gaydar, anyone?

[allee0481]

Hey you guys, a friend of mine just asked me yesterday, she is straight until she truly got attracted to this teacher of hers in college.  She is a medical doctor and they've been sort of friends for quite some time now.  They always talk, hangout together etc.  My friend told me she ignored the attraction a lot of times dismissing it only for the doctor's wits, intelligence, kindness etc...  they practically talk like they're traveling on the same wavelength.  I hanged out with them once and it's pleasant.  I couldn't really tell what's going on between them.    They're pretty close and my friend told me she's "falling" for her each day, and that she seems no longer comfortable with her, my friend starting to have malice and all.  

what are the manifestations that a person has tendencies to be gay?

She is telling me it would kill her if the doctor finds ou

[allee0481]

thanks anyway

[pertykitty]

what is up with all these old posts coming around again, what a waste of time.  chelly hit what i meant on the nose.  

[chellybeans]

i am well aware it does not only imply medicine. which is why i said "in medicine" i did not say "manifestation means"

i hope you find the answer you want, i just don't think there is one though.

[allee0481]

MANIFESTATION
noun
1.  a clear appearance; "a manifestation of great emotion"  ...etc.

The word manifestation does not only pertain to medicine...

Okay I may be wrong about the malice there what I meant was some sort of presumptions, giving meaning to any action.

thanks anyway.

[TMB1975]

It does not sound like your friend is gay or going to turn gay. I have felt these feelings for another woman at least three times. Did I act on them? No. Am I gay? No. Is there anything wrong with being gay? No. Just like everyone else has said every now and then these feelings sometimes happen, weather it's because you connect with the person, or you have an attraction or admiration for the person. I think you have nothing to worry about, and neither does your friend.

[chellybeans]

malice means intent to harm. is that what your friend has towards her teacher? it does not sound like it. i am thinking that may be just one example of what pertykitty was getting at.

In Medicine, the term manifestation refers to the symptoms or observable conditions which are seen as a result of some disease. A disease can be separated into etiology and manifestation, which, simplistically, correspond respectively to cause and effect.


what's it matter the "manifestations" of being gay? it's not a disease and there is no guaranteed tell tale sign that someone is becoming gay. it sounds to me like she has an intimate intellectual connection and that may be leading her to believe it is also emotional and physical. here's the kicker though...if it is good for her! if not, then that's fine too.

are you looking for us to say your friend is gay? no one knows her sexual desires outside of her very own head.

[allee0481]

big words but not in the right tone... elaborate please

[boyillusion]

As a gay man of 24 I'm gonna have to agree with you 100%! Although I don't believe so much that you get tagged. Sometimes it's blatantly obvious but to assume you have gaydar and be able to point someone out only puts stereotypes on ourselves. And especially since many men are metrosexual now and take care of themselves and dress nice we're all coming together. I stand by you in just asking a person. Or don't...let them tell you.

[JohnnyV]

There is no such thing as gaydar. All the little stories you hear from gay folks about how "they just know" when someone else is gay, come from a mix of circular logic, hasty assumptions, and wishful thinking. Once they tag you as gay, if you say you're not then you're in denial and if you say nothing you are quietly confirming that you are... It's a waste of time! The only way to know if someone is attracted to the same sex, is to get up your courage, be an adult, and ask!

J

[mayflowers]

Sometimes you just get a connection with someone of the same sex.  It's not sexual though.  Happens to me once in a while but I don't want to have sex with that person.  I just feel a certain connection where you feel like you could finish each others sentences.  It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's special.  

[mami1323]

She may be attracted to the friendship.  This woman is someone that she connects with and is comfortable with her.  She may be confusing what she is feeling and thinking that she is physically attracted to her but probably isn't.  She just loves spending time with her.  I felt like that with one of my friends.  We were inseperable, we were always with eachother.  We hung out every weekend, went to the gym, ran errands together, and we used to joke that we were eachother's boyfriends.  But as time went on we both got into relationships.  She got married, had a baby.  I got engaged and am pregnant.  We felt comfortable with eachother and it didn't mean that we were sexually attracted to one another.  We just liked being together.  

[pertykitty]

i didnt mean were you the one flirting , i meant are you the one with the problem? did your friend ask you to find out if she is gay? lol  or are you freaking out thinking your friend will hit on you next?? i think if a person likes another of the same sex, in a sexual manner or not, who cares? i think your post was confusing with you trying to use "big" words but not in the right tone. dont worry about it. its your friends life, let her be.

[bip]

I agree 100% with you how could someone flirt with the same sex.

[allee0481]

yeah right.  I don't get it either hence can't fully convey.  What I was asking is   how can you sense if someone is open to the possibility of homosexuality.  I don't know how women flirt with the same sex.

It's not mine for the record.

[pertykitty]

not only do i not get what you are asking, but i wonder is this a problem for your friend, or for you? so she has a crush on her teacher, im sure it happens all the time, same sex or not. i seriously doubt a crush on a teacher means she is gay. just be her friend. if she needs to ask give her medhelps addy.