How does one "get out" in this deep situation?

[twinkly84]

If you're a type of person who's very, very shy/quiet/reserved & don't go out too much except to casual places on the weekends (movies, museums, book stores, regular shops, but NOT clubs/bars/the shore or any other "party" type of place) how do you get yourself out there?

What if you have no single friends?

What if you've been on TONS of sites but, nothing's happening either?

How do you go out alone & meet people to possibly meet your future new "one"?

What too, if you have a roommate who's also the same way as you but, they go out WITH you? (yet, aren't in love or attracted to you)

What tips do you have? Thank you.

[twinkly84]

@ imanaddict

Thanks for that recommendation on that site. I'll have to check it out.

I was also told to try www.plentyoffish.com again...we'll see. :)

[imanaddict]

I heard about this site on the radio and immediately thought of you. It's not just a singles site, they actually plan events. It sounds fun!

[imanaddict]

Check out this site and see if they offer it in your area

http://www.eventsandadventures.com

[mami1323]

Of course you're not going to be approached if you go out with a man.  Men will automatically assume you're together and won't even bother you.  That's like wearing a ring on your left finger even though it's not an engagement ring.  Even if you are not lovey dovey or physical, they will still assume you are a couple or on a date.  Go out alone or make some girlfriends but you have to stop trying so hard, it's probably written all over your face when you do go out and men are probably drawn away because of the desperation.  When you do go out, don't go alone unless it's to a church gathering or a class of some sort.  If you go to a bar or anything like that alone, you will come off as looking for someone and that leads to desperation.  So again try to make friends with at least one girl, go out and have fun and when men see that you're there just to have fun with a friend, they will see you as approachable.

[twinkly84]

I appreciate your ideas & thoughts but, seriously....should this person go out alone?  If so, where?

What if she's tried websites, sporting events, church activities, clubs, bars, the shore, other places?


What about cutting back on the time going out w/ her male roommate to find a man of her own b/c people keep assumming she's his wife/girlfriend but, they are not lovey-dovey physical w/ each other?

[twinkly84]

I appreciate your ideas & thoughts but, seriously....should this person go out alone?  If so, where?

What if she's tried websites, sporting events, church activities, clubs, bars, the shore, other places?


What about cutting back on the time going out w/ her male roommate to find a man of her own b/c people keep assumming she's his wife/girlfriend but, they are not lovey-dovey physical w/ each other.

[heatherlynn22]

you're coming off as extremely desperate which is a HUGE turn off to people. just stop trying. let things fall into place. take a break from trying to find someone. having a boyfriend is NOT that important. just enjoy life.

[imanaddict]

I too will say quit trying so hard and let things fall where they may. That seems to be the norm...girls looking and looking and trying and trying for love and then when they least expect it, that special someone walks into their life. I know it happened to me and I think it will happen for you too when you're good and fed up with all the searching. You can't push for things like this, they just happen.

Another small piece of advice would be to stop wasting your time and money calling those guys in Europe (or wherever they are from).

[Judy246]

I agree with jo, church events are a great way of meeting people. It doesn't mean you have to be religious, but it's a great place to meet people with good values, friendly and open to all and make great dates.

[jo929]

also if you have time be a volunteer for big sisters there are lots of places for volunteers and they meet people and get over their shyness to what better way to spend your free time than always wondering do something usefull taked the ole mind off of things jo

[jo929]

you could join a church and go to the young peoples meetings  jo

[Judy246]

What if you don't try so hard and just let life fall into place naturally? Simple pleasures are the best, so get together with your room mate, go to a movie, go to lunch or dinner, go for a walk or nature walk, exercising, go live life naturally without trying too hard and you will see how life has away of working itself out and just let the rest just happen. That way, you won't be so aware of feeling so lonely or alone, you will meet people naturally and when you least expect it, you will meet someone who will appreciate you and all your qualities naturally without trying too hard. When you try too hard, it just won't happen, but if you do things that you enjoy doing, who knows, Mr Wonderful just might be thinking the same thing....good luck. Judy