How fathers should treat there teen daughters?

[cupcake031000]

I am an high school student and my parents are separated. My dad and I were sitting on my bed, he watching the TV and m on my laptop. All of a sudden he just starts rubbing and massing my feet. This isn't the first time he's done something like this. Other times whether we are in public or if he visits me and my mom. He can be very touchy, always calls me "sweaty" or "baby girl", and he always pays more attention to me instead of my mom. He'll hang off my arm or hold my hand like a couple would do. This bothers me a lot. My question, is it wrong for a father to do these things with his daughter? Should I be worried?

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, cupcake, I hope you got my private message about this.  I think that if YOU have an icky sense about it, that is what tells you if he is being inappropriate or merely affectionate.  Do you have trustworthy instincts?  If so, make it clear in little ways that you need him to back off.

[RockRose]

Well,  I think sometimes inappropriate attention is so subtle it's hard to describe in a post.  It sounds like in front of your mom,  he's kind of making a display of the fact that he's an affectionate person who is sweet and loving just to kind of highlight that he doesn't feel that way about her.

I call my adult sons sweetie (I'm guessing that's what you meant when you typed sweaty)  ;D,   and I massage their scalps or necks,  and would feel very comfortable putting my arm around their waist and giving them a hug.  I don't like to massage feet,  but my BIL does that with his kids (an adult son and daughter) if they're sitting together and the kid has barefeet in reach.  It really never occurred to me it was inappropriate.

BUT.  I have seen inappropriately sexualized father daughter relationships,  and mother son relationships and the difference can be very subtle - but it's there.

[MYoungAtHeart]

is this your biological father
are your parents divorced
why are you watching TV on your bed with him
do you live with your mom or dad
are there other children
has dad always been inappropriate with you

If you cannot talk to your mom or tell your dad to stop,
talk to a teacher or guidance counselor about what is
going on.  They do care and have many resources to
help you choose from.

[cupcake031000]

thank you for the comment :)

[Londres70]

Why is he in your room and on your bed in the first place?  Was that his idea or your idea?  

Is this your BIO father?

IDK...........the situation sounds questionable.  

If my father was on my bed watching tv and then wanted to out of the blue start rubbing/massaging my feet I would be freaked out too.

This sounds more than endearing pet names and appropriate display of affection.  

[AnnieBrooke]

But, do you rub and massage their feet out of the blue?

[specialmom]

I'll be sad if the day ever comes that my sons view my affection, pet names and love for them as weird.  

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- Can you live with your mom for a while?

[AnnieBrooke]

If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him not to call you those names any longer (it's easier to push him away on the names than to call him on vague physical actions) and pull away when he touches you.  I'd go with your intuition and keep your door locked.

[nursegirl6572]

First thing to clarify is that you state your parents are separated, yet later in your post, you mention that your Dad pays more attention to you than he does your Mom.  That statement is confusing, if your parents are separated, I cannot imagine your Dad showing your Mom much affection.