I agreed to meet him in at 4 and I don't know if I should have.

[Alana2135]

I'm going to try to shorten the story as much as possible but give the important details.... Quick advice is appreciated because this post is time sensitive.
      Me -21yo multi racial female. Raised catholic, private schools ( all girls high school) educated parents with high expectations ( I'm currently not meeting them), split family but I know and have been raised by both parents...  History of Anorexia, And I have OCD ( controlled ) I'm well spoken always had friends and not bad looking

Him- 26yo multi racial, Adopted by older Caucasian couple at 3yr , well educated, has masters, slightly arrogant and was a total play boy, he has 2 sons ages 6 and 11 mos

2 yrs ago we met through an online dating site , we were attracted to each other but it took a while for our personalities to click once they did it was great, he is very guarded with his feelings we became physical before we had a chance to decide what we were and after 3 weeks I decided I didn't want to be with someone who was guarded and didn't seem to even want to make the commitment of being exclusive 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant, at 19 yrs old... I had an abortion due to the strong medication I had been on, my age, and the lack of support, it really ate me up for months after...... Fast forward he calls me out of the blue 4 months ago apologizes tells me he would like to make an effort.. I have denied all efforts but after 4 months of him being persistent and seeming serious I agreed to see him today at 4 to talk, walk and go to happy hour....... The main problem is I find myself worried about what he is going to think of me when really he is the one who should be worried ... I need advice please.

[Jinx_777]

he is in your past for a reason.  we seem to forget that as time passes, but there is no reason to even give this guy the time of day

[specialmom]

Hm.  In all honesty, I'd go with your original gut instinct on this one--  cut ties.  You don't need to tell him about the abortion---  he wasn't a boyfriend at the time but you two had just recently gotten together when that happened.

What concerns me is the 11 month old child.  Does this mean he was cheating on someone with you?  Or slipping women in there practicing unsafe sex everywhere he went?  Too many red flags for me.

I would focus on your studies/future without repeating the past.

that's how I honestly feel about it.  good luck hon

[Londres70]

What are you expecting to get out of this?  Do you want him back or are you just interested in how he is doing in life?  What are you seeking here?

The talking and walking sounds ok, however, I would leave the "happy hour" out.  You should be SOBER and your mind should be clear.  Don't throw alcohol in the mix or you might say or do something you might regret.

He seems to have baggage that you might not be able to handle@ 21, two small children.  Plus, he is guarded on top of that.  It makes you wonder why he really needs to see you now.  While no one is perfect, just keep in mind people don't change overnight that's if they DO change.

I am going to give it to you straight.  I would recommend you try to focus on meeting goals and leave this guy on the backburner.......in other word focus on your education and/or employment.  Get yourself together and work on establishing your life without this guy.  To be honest he might be too much for you to deal with given your history of an eating disorder and OCD.  

If you just want to see how he is doing that's one thing, but I would recommend not getting re-involved with this guy.  

Are his children by one woman or two different ones?  I am assuming the baby which was aborted was his too.  Correct?