I need some advice.

[crzywvgrl_09]

Okay. I have no problem with saying my name. So, hi. My name is michelle. I am 16 years of age. I am in a relationship with this guy and he's sort of controlling. I'm not sure if he is or not but you tell me because I'll tell you about him. Like, when I talk to his best friend, which FYI I am just friends with him and have been for about 3 to 5 years, he gets mad and tells me that if I talk to his friend again that I wont see or talk to him again for a while, when I get into the vehicle with him, and any skin at all is showing on me, he takes it as an invitation to freely explore with his hands. On our 2nd date, he drove into a 4-wheeler road, shut off the car, and tried to make me have sex with him. On the 2nd date! On our 3rd date ( a couple of days to a week L8R) on the 4th of July he took me to his friend's house ( his friend had basically raised him and was the guy who was takin us all to see fire works) the guy walked outside on the porch to talk to his neighbor, and my bf took that as make out session time. I told him at the start of our relationship that I had trust issues with men, but he told me that I would have to get over that if I wanted to be with him. I have always seemed to have control issues with guys and I don't know Y I let them run me all the time. This guy I am with now, he tells me when he's comming over to my house, and tells me what I'm going to wear, what I'll listen to. The worst part of him is.............he tells me that i'm fat. I weigh 197 lbs and I know that I need to lose weight, but coming from him is so harsh. I can't take it. Can someone help me? I don't want to dump him because my dad thinks that he is good for me. I don't tell my parents anything like this because they wouldn't understand and my dad would end up really hurting my bf. Please, someone. I need advice.

[misscloey]

DUMP HIM.
Yes he is controlling
Yes he is abusive (verabally)
Yes he is forcing sex on you.
Yes he is completely bad for you
Yes you are a beautiful person and deserve MUCH better!!
Please let him go on his merry way and abuse someone else.

Best of luck!

[sunniil]

Think of every little thing
That you can attain today
Enjoy every dream you can
And make it part of each day

You don't have to be well-known or rich
To find any happiness under the sun
You can smile now and feel happy
Even if there's for you, truly, no one

Celebrate life, and appreciate yours
Each autumn, summer, winter and spring
Make each and every dream come true
Remember, you can accomplish it all too

Don't let anything or anyone stand in your way
Live, love with passion, laugh and learn each day!

[YourOctober]

Hunnie, it's sweet of you to want to stay with him for your dad's sake, but hey. How do you think pops would feel if he heard the boyfriend was trying to pull a move on his little girl the first three dates? Take it from me, this is not the kind of guy your parents want you to be around. I think that you should dump this boy and make it a point to never associate with him again, and then break the news to your parents. The sooner you do it, the more proud both of them will be for you doing the right thing. You're sixteen sweetie, this is when relationships should be about having fun, testing the water, and meeting great people. This guy doesn't sound like he fits any of the criteria, and I'm sure he doesn't fit yours or your dad's. He's gotta go.

Best regards and good luck,
October .

[gretchen36]

Run as far and as fast as you can from him! He will just tear you down and try to ruin your self esteem. That's how guys like that hold on to girls.They try to make them feel like no one else will want them. Even if it's not true. They are the ones with the low self esteem. I will only get worse if you continue seeing him. Good luck.

[BearHitch]

I agree with the other posters- dump this guy and do not let him back in your life, no matter how many promises of change he makes.  I remember being 16 (not so far back) and having self-esteem issues myself.  I was just happy that somebody wanted me because I was so unhappy with how I looked.  It took awhile for my body to get rid of "baby fat", which may or may not be the same for you, but when I look back at pictures now, I kick myself for accepting some of the behavior from guys that I did.  All I can think is I was so beautiful and thin- what on earth was I thinking?!  Save your time and emotions for a guy who will treasure you- after high school, I tried that and it was the best thing that ever happened to me (he still says I am the most beautiful woman in the world almost 27 weeks pregnant and feeling like a cow!).  Good luck, hon!

[often]

Personally, if a guy tried to force sex on my on the 1st date, there would be no second date.  He is dating you for whatever he can get.  He doesn't want YOU.  I agree with Liza..you need to get to a counselor and work on your self-esteem issues.  You need to learn to love yourself, and then you wouldn't be putting up with this kind of ****.  If your parents are that enamored of him, you need to let them know what a loser and user this guy is.

[Liza55]

I think you must know he is absolutely not healthy for you- sometimes we just need to hear it. It couldn't possibly feel 'right' to you- I imagine it brings a lot of anxiety. Nevertheless, you recognize that staying w/ someone like him makes you wonder- why do you allow it? Why would your dad allow it. Now's a great time to learn too, that daddy can't pick a boyfriend. You're 16- you pick what's right for you. Your dad's not dating him- you are. You may be overweight, but needless to say you should not be insulted by a boyfriend! Look and try very hard right now to understand this lesson- only YOU takes care of YOU. Go to a counselor, whatever you have to do to learn just how valuable you are. You have amazing qualities that someone else will treasure. Understand and believe that you clearly deserve better than that loser. He is controlling simply b/c he himself has self esteem issues (you'll learn more about that later). This is the time to explore being w/ different people, but I promise that being alone and feeling proud and worth something is a million times more valuable than being w/ someone who treats you like sh*t.

[slow_healer]

This guy is not into you. He's into sex. And he's into making you into an object he can use for sex.

Have patience with finding someone who is actually into you. Someone who cares about you will respect you - your strengths, your weaknesses, and more. They'll support you through rough times and be there to share in good times. It doesn't matter how pretty you are or how skinny. Confidence glows in people. If you find your confidence it will glow in you too, and people will be attracted to it.

As for your parents, all you have to tell them is that it wasn't working out. Nothing "bad" has to happen to justify your decision. No one should make this decision for you except YOU. Good luck.