Aa
I can't tell where to go in this relationship? i cant tell when its the right time to break up..or setlle, help ):
Ive been going out with my boyfriend since the 8th grade...ive liked him since 6th. and i am now in 10th. i know I'm young (its made it very hard to find someone to relate to). but i dont think thats the problem. I think way too much and can never tell if what im thinking is worth paying attention to or just the result of my bored mind. im aware my vaules have changed...im not sure if i want to marry..nevermind my highschool sweetheart like i always wanted and this whole "soul searching" phase has really put me into a mind set that i cant cope with. i dont really feel comfortable with kissing him, i tend to pull away..i really care for him to touch me at all either..i dont mean sexually..thats never been there i just mean like on my stomach or any bare peice of skin. i leave his place earlier than i did and id rather be home and relax. im not stressed my any school work, i think that my work load and schedule is pretty balanced. but all of this gives me a headache! it reminds me of married couples with a declining sex life. they are told to tryign to spice things up. but the thign is i dont have the drive to, i dont know if i want to change these things..i dont want to force myself to kiss him...i love him..i have..we have been great friends but maybe things are just dull now...i know that happens in relationships so my question is this. if thats what happens, how am i to know when is the right time to break up or settle. when i tried to..we both ended up in these enoitional states. i dont want to see other people..there is no one to see. unless i go off to college...i still wna to go to prom with him adn do that stuff...i just..i dont know where i stand in this..and which route i should take, please help..this is thet last thing i can do to seek advice...im afraid my thinking is going to destroy me :/ i dont want to live in this mind set.
Hi Lafeminista18.
You are so young, so if you are feeling the need to move on (which is completely normal and healthy for anyone, especially someone your age), you should probably break up with him. You could tell him that you don't feel ready for this type of relationship right now, and that you really respect him as a person and would like to remain friends. It would probably be good to "cool" the friendship for a while, though, to give him time to get over you, if necessary.
I had a boyfriend through all of high school and college, and I had many of the same feelings that you do, except that out of guilt and out of caring for my bf and being together for so long, I never had the courage to break it off. I now regret that, as I lost time being young, hanging out with my friends, and dating other guys. On top of that, when we broke up, we had been together so long that it was a messy, heartwrenching break-up.
You're so young. You still have so much to learn and do and explore about yourself. I'm 29 and I just recently figured out who I am and what I want! Please don't feel guilty if you want to break it off. Almost nobody stays with their first love forever, and most people are with many people before they find the right one (and have enough life experience to know what they want). I know this is really hard, though, because you care about him. It sounds like you already know what you need to do, though, and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck!
You are so young, so if you are feeling the need to move on (which is completely normal and healthy for anyone, especially someone your age), you should probably break up with him. You could tell him that you don't feel ready for this type of relationship right now, and that you really respect him as a person and would like to remain friends. It would probably be good to "cool" the friendship for a while, though, to give him time to get over you, if necessary.
I had a boyfriend through all of high school and college, and I had many of the same feelings that you do, except that out of guilt and out of caring for my bf and being together for so long, I never had the courage to break it off. I now regret that, as I lost time being young, hanging out with my friends, and dating other guys. On top of that, when we broke up, we had been together so long that it was a messy, heartwrenching break-up.
You're so young. You still have so much to learn and do and explore about yourself. I'm 29 and I just recently figured out who I am and what I want! Please don't feel guilty if you want to break it off. Almost nobody stays with their first love forever, and most people are with many people before they find the right one (and have enough life experience to know what they want). I know this is really hard, though, because you care about him. It sounds like you already know what you need to do, though, and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck!
If he truly cares for you he will understand you want friendship and not an exclusive relationship right now. And if the truth be known, he may be feeling the same restraints himself. Just tell him just like you did us. I am sure he will understand and tell him maybe later, who knows?
You can't stay with someone just because you are afraid to hurt their feelings. You have to do what makes you happy. You can't carry around the burden of that, it's not healthy. I say focus on becoming valedictorian, your grades, your friends, having fun, etc...If you can keep him as a friend, do but if he doesn't make you happy don't continue to waste your time or his.
well this may not make much of a difference but i am 16 (: and thank you for thinkig that im important enough to take the time to comment back. (:..i have no interest in any sexual "behavior" so to say. i know where i stand with that. and im very good with balancing my studies. im going for valedictorian by graduation..and i know...hes my boyfriend..but i meant it in the sence that he is one of my best friends, has been...i just couldnt come to the conclusion to decipher my feelings to know when we should break up or not..he really likes me, and i dont want to hurt him by settling to be just friends even though i feel thats what weve become in this boyfriend/girlfriend relationship of ours...i want him to be there but...i dont want the pressures of being in a realationship..does that make sence? and if so...should i just tell him rigt now in my life..id prefer to be friends even if we hang out the same amount and still hug and what not?..i feel that any solution i come ot does not make any sence...and i dont feel like im being fair to him by dragging him back and forth with my "friends..boyfriend...friend" and whatever...whatever happens, id like to remain close with him. again, i just dont know if what i decide..this "arrangement" makes sence.
so does it make sence to stay just friends under those circumstances?,,when i still care about him...and love him...as the great friend he is...and like to hang out with him
i just..dont know.
so does it make sence to stay just friends under those circumstances?,,when i still care about him...and love him...as the great friend he is...and like to hang out with him
i just..dont know.
The actions you take right now in your life can have a major impact on how succesful you are financially and emotionally down the road a few years. First boyfriends are just that, this shall pass and you will go on to meet other people in the years to come. Do not allow yourself to get caught up and make adult decisions that you will be paying consequences for, for years to come. Get educated, have fun in school yes, but take it very seriously. It is your job and how well you perform it will show in the future. Do not allow yourself to be led around by hormones or what your friends are into. Good luck.
your first love is just what it is, first boyfriend first friend time marches on, and so do you, you will have many boyfriends later, now is not the time to focus on a boy your education comes first You really need to just relax and stay at home and enjoy your teen years while you can the new wears off of your first boyfrien just try to br friends and let it go at that 14 is really to young for kissing and heavy petty and especially a romantic involvement, be your self and have fun, but not with the guys, unless you with a group just be his friend, and that is it turn you eye to other things in life Judy is telling you the right of it do not mess uo luck jo
Hi, although you are very young (14 yrs. old), your thoughts do count and you are worth listening to and you are important ok :)
Right now your focus should be in school and not in any type of physical relationship with guys yet. Young love is great, touching is a no, no, and can lead to other behaviors that can literally ruin your life, so I discourage you in having a relationship, because as you continue on this life journey, I promise you that you are going to meet the right guy at the right time, naturally and you are going to know it. You are way too young to be thinking about marriage and all that adult stuff and your main concern should be in taking care of you, making friends, enjoying life and school should be your mail goal right now and although you don't realize it, your education will play a huge part in your future and what you will become. ok, so main concern is making that grade!
Stay away from any physical contact, because everything will fall into place one day, so although you have this nice b/f, you are still growing, maturing and learning and you will meet that right guy at the right time......so my advice is take your time young lady, don't your hurry to grow old. Enjoy your friends, family, school and b/f will come along at the right time naturally. Hugs, Judy
Right now your focus should be in school and not in any type of physical relationship with guys yet. Young love is great, touching is a no, no, and can lead to other behaviors that can literally ruin your life, so I discourage you in having a relationship, because as you continue on this life journey, I promise you that you are going to meet the right guy at the right time, naturally and you are going to know it. You are way too young to be thinking about marriage and all that adult stuff and your main concern should be in taking care of you, making friends, enjoying life and school should be your mail goal right now and although you don't realize it, your education will play a huge part in your future and what you will become. ok, so main concern is making that grade!
Stay away from any physical contact, because everything will fall into place one day, so although you have this nice b/f, you are still growing, maturing and learning and you will meet that right guy at the right time......so my advice is take your time young lady, don't your hurry to grow old. Enjoy your friends, family, school and b/f will come along at the right time naturally. Hugs, Judy
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
