Just wanted to add that I was typing while anniebrooke was typing and I agree with her advice. peace and luck to you.
The past is behind you, Lynn. Let it go. Look forward to a future in which you can find out who Lynn really is. Plus, the only moment we ever really get is THIS moment, right NOW. Do your best to make every moment a pleasant, happy, exciting, beautiful, joyful (I could go on) moment. God Bless - Blu
Hi there and welcome. Okay, I'm trying to follow. Is your bio dad passed away? I think you said that. So, this is to meet your paternal grandmother?
Well, first, sorry to hear all of these things happening in your childhood. It pains me to hear of a young single mom who makes mistakes that ultimately hurt their child/ren. I'm sure your mom wanted to do better for you but sometimes life just happens. Abuse is never a child's fault and it certainly wasn't yours-- again, so sorry that happened.
In truth, ugh. That was a hard situation for your mom, your bio dad AND their parents. I had big dreams in my high school years and my parents had big plans for me as well. An unplanned pregnancy would have derailed things dramatically. I'm not going to blame the people for various emotions at that vulnerable time. Part of me thinks adoption would have been a wonderful thing rather than your mom trying to go it alone at such a young age. But, she tried. Your paternal grandmother didn't know you. She wasn't emotionally attached to you. However, she was to her son. And she was trying to protect him. I know it might be hard to see it that way. But that is probably the truth to it.
I'm going to recommend two things. If you are open to accepting this for what it is, then I'd meet with your grandmother. Cautiously. Without major expectations at first.
the second thing I really recommend is a therapist to talk about your childhood with. Someone to vent to, talk about the pain, a professional to help you sort out the emotions you have about it.
I wish you much luck and peace.
Talk it all over with a therapist, and sort out what you want and what your revelation will mean to all the people involved.