A situanship and now a possible new flame!! Please help

[Celestial_Goddess]

Hey you all I am back again. I have now been dating my friend for 4 months and things are going smooth we're still friends who are going out enjoying each other and having great sex despite the age difference (I am 23 he's 18). In the midst of this affair I developed a sense of sexual awakening and it is very pleasurable. I am so happy to be learning so much about my sexual self and my needs and wants and of course it is protected sex. However even though all this good stuff is happening I caught up with an high school classmate through a popular social media website via messaging. We would talked about the social issues that is going one in America, high school memories, past relationships, and what we're doing now 5 years after graduating. I believe through that conversation he started crushing on me and he asked for my number and I gave it to him and he is also full of aware of my 18 year old friend. Here is where my problem.... I have feelings for my 18 year old friend and he is growing to have feelings for me however he wants to move slow because of his age and I completely understand that but I am 23 and getting older and looking for potentials which is something my new flame which is the guy I knew from highschool has. He has a college degree, nice job, and is very respectable. The only problem is he's short maybe and inch shorter than me and I do not feel comfortable with dating a guy shorter than me and I most defitnitly does not feel comfortable with talking with him and my 18 year old friend at the same time. My family also has met my 18 year old friend and they love him and we also have sex. I will feel pretty low to move on from him due to the fact we are having sex and my family has met him. I will feel disgusting since I change men so quick. I understand I am thinking ahead with things but better safe than sorry.... I have more feelings for my 18 year old friend than my highschool friend. Me and him just started talking last night so I am seeing where it goes... hopefully not far.,... or should it go farther?

[TTinKKerBBell]

I agree with the posters above me

I've read Your other posts as You have read my responses, so I choose not to go there again

Personally, I read a lot of drama on Your part as You FREQUENTLY choose to say:

"I LOST my celibacy with my 18 year old friend"
and
"I LOST my virginity at 21"

We don't "lose" virginity or celibacy.  Rather, we CHOOSE to 'share' it - It is not a 'gift' we give, rather it is a choice we make for,and of, ourselves and someone else is not responsible for choices we make.

I think You are expecting/wanting  more commitment from either of them than You are showing.  It seems a little fickle to me that You are showing interest in both these people.  

[Life360_Dave]

Hi also. I think what your failing to realize (Celestial Goddess) is that women are endowed with certain sexual prowness over men and in my opinion only should be used to attract their life long partner. Jumping from person to person which leads you to discover your own personal sexuality, in my mind is not what relationships are about.
People get hurt with broken hearts, sexually tranmitted diseases  are passed and so much time is waisted on things that really dont do anything to change the world or ourselves.

[Londres70]

Well, no one is suggesting you are "lose" for heaven's sake.  You go from having no relationship for a period of time and then you jump back in full speed ahead...........sleeping with a guy who probably will never make things serious.  It's ok you are his friend, but I wouldn't be giving him any sex UNTIL we were a serious couple if I were you.  Have sex with someone who is calling you more than a friend hon.  Sounds like he is moving slow on purpose because he is already getting what he wants from you.

Why not just date a couple of guys............nothing exclusive and without sex involved and see what happens?  Sex has a tendency to make things more complicated especially when you are having it with a guy who hasn't committed himself to you.

[Celestial_Goddess]

Ok thanks

[Londres70]

You are sleeping with a guy who is your friend and you are hoping it will turn into more.  Sounds like there is NO clarity about where this present relationship is going to end up.  Why not establish where the relationship is going BEFORE you start getting intimate with a guy?  It's like you are hoping the present guy will come around and will want to be more serious with you.

THEN,

You "think" this other guy is crushing on you.  I just wouldn't be assuming that hon.  In other words, I wouldn't be making a decision based on situations YOU have no clarify or confirmation about.

[Celestial_Goddess]

It's the way you were wording your post that made me believe that you were saying I was loose and the reason for choosing someone else is because the 18 year old is young and wants to be friends for however he's growing to like me but is doing so slowly

[Londres70]

" I am not loose at all."..............Who stated you were this?

Well, if you choose wisely, then why would you be considering another guy while you are with this present guy?  

Who says this other guy is interested in you..........being more than just friends?

[Celestial_Goddess]

Also I lost my virginity at 21 and remained celibate all through the years of 22... and now I am 23... I am not loose at all. I choose wisely.. just have a problem with deciding

[Celestial_Goddess]

I was celibate and did not date for a year. I lost my celibacy with my 18 year old friend after talking for 3 months. Since we only been talking for 4 months, that means we just started having sex with each other. Yes I do over think things I just do not like to talk with two people at the same time and is trying to find out whose the best choice. Ive also only dated 2 guys this year and the last one before my 18 year old friend we did not have sex.

[Londres70]

" I will feel disgusting since I change men so quick"................I think I would too if I was you.

[Londres70]

". I will feel disgusting since I change men so quick. I understand I am thinking ahead with things but better safe than sorry.... I have more feelings for my 18 year old friend than my highschool friend. Me and him just started talking last night so I am seeing where it goes... hopefully not far.,... or should it go farther?"................In ALL honesty, I really think you should take a break from BOTH guys............guys in general.  

The more I read your posts, the more I sense you need to sort yourself out...........like the NEED to have relationships/guys back to back and why you like going from 0 to 100 and not taking your time for a relationship to evolve.  Everything seems so extreme with you; quick, hot and heavy.

Have you just ever been by yourself?  Have you ever thought it is ok to be friends with a guy without sex?

"I believe through that conversation he started crushing on me and he asked for my number and I gave it to him and he is also full of aware of my 18 year old friend"................You "believe" he is crushing on you doesn't mean he REALLY is.  He didn't say that.  He just asked you for your number; doesn't mean he is into you.  This guy asked you for your number and immediately you start assuming things.  Can it be possible he just wants a friendship?

NO guy..............by yourself and sorting YOU out.  You have some issues and it is apparent.

[clement4now]

Wow, I wish I had your energy, minus the relationships :)
Just be honest with everyone involved, and try not to break anybody's heart
meanwhile...
Good Luck