I have had it with my BF, now what?

[kris123]

Ok, not sure if any of you guys remember me or not.  I'm 5months preggo and living with a BF that has a drug habit and is a jerk who yells at me all the time.  I am leaving and will leave in the next week.  He refuses to tell his other children that I am preggo, haven't figured out why they haven't asked because you can tell.  They don't live with him, so he says he is going to tell them the baby is not his.  He won't tell his mother, father, sister, etc .. like I am nothing, well F him and I'm gone.  He is mean to his kids, and me.  He doesn't do drugs around the kids and he does take care of them when they are with him but that does not make him a good person.  Now I got everything togeather, bank statments of his, SSN, and work address.  I think that is all I need to pursue child support right?  I can't help but to want to stick it to him because he won't help me with dr. bills or anything.  He is not even going with me to see what the baby is tomarrow.  Am I being to hard on him?  I want to enjoy my pregnancy and with him it is impossibe.  He wants me to leave and have noone know I had his baby that he wanted and now doesn't.  I have almost called his mother and realized that maybe it is not my place.  I guess he will never tell.  What a butthole.  How do I handle this?

[diva78]

Yes, get out of that relationship. First off, You do not have to hire a lawyer to handle child support issues. Look up Child Support Enforcement (CSE) in your county or state that you live. Most people do not know that pursuing child support can cost as little as a $25 application fee, instead of thousands of dollars you would spend on a lawyer. CSE will help locate the dead-beat, establish paternity (if he denies involvement), when he is found as father , he will be charged for the paternity testing. A child support order will be established and will be enforced (collected on). He will have to send paymnt to a central registry system. If he doesnt pay, there are several remedies used to get him to pay. all this for a $25 app fee. go to your local county government agency ad start the process ASAP! Good luck!

[kris123]

I posted and all the posts are to me

[sk2006a]

No - they're straightened out now :)

[mslkpage]

I kind of liked it better when they were jumbled up. Peekawho was 21 and TTC (kind of hard after tubal ligation and uterine ablation) and sk2006 was knocked up!! It made for some interesting reading.

[Med Help]

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your patience as we work through the transition to the new website.  Someone here reported that the comments are linked to the wrong posters.  Is this correct?  If so, we would really appreciate it if you could give us the specifics.

Cindy Thompson
Med Help

[kris123]

I have prayed about it and realize that being bitter is wrong.  The important thing is the baby.  I will dealing with him to God.  He has a way of dealing with people, He always deals with me on things.  

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Hire a lawyer to fight for you and then sit back and try to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

Don't seek reveange, it will just make you bitter.  

I would inform his parents after the baby is born, if you have a cordial relationship with them.

Do not be hateful, this man will always be your child's father and you will always have to deal with him.

I wish you strength, courage and health.

[sk2006a]

woah - the posts are linked to the wrong posters!  

[PGB]

He helped decide to have this baby, and now that it's a reality, HE DOESN'T WANT IT????

Honey, CLEAN HIS PLOW FOR HIM!!!  Find the very best lawyer you can.  Even stick his ass for court costs and DNA testing, if necessary!  What a jerk!  Too hard on him?  PLEASE!  You aren't being nearly hard enough....


Good luck to you and your baby.

[skelebor]

Planning for your baby's future is your whole world right now..and since your butthole of a BF doesnt seem to share this view, it looks hopeless that he'll change for the better once the baby actually arrives...I've seen lots of single moms raise up great kids all on their own..

i don't think you're too hard on him...hell, give him a good one on his behind and you still come up short of being hard...

[hardcoreback]

yeah they're right.. go to the lawyer and get help on the support thing.. the child needs it financially.. about the emotional support.. ur baby will someday grow and will need a father figure to guide him/her.. but with your bf denying it, taking drugs, and treating u badly, i dont think the baby will grow as a good young boy/girl..  
try to face it.. he was mean, he doesnt care, he doesnt give damn.. u deserve someone better... just thank god for the baby.. that's enough happiness for you..
good luck...

[slow_healer]

I agree with the previous poster to put your baby first. But if you're thinking in terms of child support, maybe talk to a lawyer and get some advice as to what your options are.