I need advice. (not preg related)

[bryceT317_3]

My ex husband and I have a 6 yr old girl. I am her legal parent, he gets her every other weekend. My daughter is very independent and capable of caring for herself (which she does at our house) she gets ready for school/bathes/dresses all that with very minimal help if any. Im so frustrated cuz I just got her back from him and she told me that they (he lives with his parents) dress her/cut up her food/bathe her/brush her hair/put lotion on her, basically everything but feed her. What makes me more mad is my EX gives her baths! I am not okay with that! Im trying to teach her to be modest and learn that boys can't see her naked. But he is not helping! I havent said anything to him because im so mad. I don't know what to do. I live in Missouri if that helps.  I know dif states have dif laws.

[Nighthawk61]

I think I would probably get to a child psychologist and ask them what the "norm' is for this circumstance, and then maybe you'll have them to back up what you're trying to get across to him? I sure don't think it's necessary and I would think that if he's gone against your wishes after a few conversations, it is odd. Maybe you should ask at what age he sees himself NOT looking at her naked anymore. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this with your girl. She's not a baby, and you're teaching her right to look after herself and behave modestly with boys and men. You're a good mom. Keep up the good work!! Let us know how this all pans out, okay?

If you need to talk to anyone, just private message anyone here, we'd love to listen and maybe help.

[GigiBella]

Talk with him and share that you are trying to encourage her independence. Let him know she can bathe herself.  If you have a relationship with the grandmother then talk to her.  Definitely don't come from a place of aggression and accusations. That will just make them defensive. The whole bathe thing is touchy and u dont want it to come across like hes being inappropiate. Come at it from the attitude that shes a "big girl" and is proud of doing things herself

[Retro_Raven]

If she is his daughter then I genuinely don't see an issue, at the age of 6 she is still a very young child not even remotely coming of age so it can't be used in the same context of a father bathing his child of 11 or 12 or something like that in which case I would agree would be weird,  I think it just boils down to different parenting styles and as she is both of your child you guys would need to work together and find common ground.

[abbb01]

If shes able to do it herself then she should be left to so it herself. If she was younger and needed the supervision than yes hes her father and should care for her but point is here she doesnt need it. Id talk to him maybe he sees her as just his itty bitty little girl (which is sweet) but shes gonna grow up...

[Mommy_Sendis]

I myself dont find that right at all i have 3 girls 2 5 year olds and 1 1 year old and i dont let my hubby shower them at all only cause they are girls he wont shower them himself but thats how we think everyones different

[bryceT317_3]

Exactly my point.  I had boobs at 8. Shes six

[Ashbaby1990]

If it's his daughter .. I don't see it a big deal.. But he should slow down a bit she is getting of age. And her body will be changing soon..

[bryceT317_3]

My hubby and I make it our priority not to involve her in mine and my ex's arguements. And I can count at least 3 times I have had this conversation with him. The thing is, she normally doesnt tell me things like this unless it bothers her. I don't think he does anything to her but I Don't understand why he needs to be in the bathroom with her! He lives with his mom, she is always there. If she needs help, why cant she help her?

[mitch_14]

Sounds like it's just different parenting styles if it bothers your child I would just letting him know she prefers to do that stuff herself. Or even just let your daughter tell them she likesto do this stuff herself maybe she acts different there and they think she can't do the stuff herself. Good luck hope you guys work it out without to much conflict for your daughter.

[Ropretty]

Every parent is different. I baby my son and my husband does not but to each their own. Yall both have every right to treat her as yall please as long as she is being taking care of. I wouldn't over react im sure if it becames a problem for her she would say so and far as the bathing part yall are separated so if she was younger he would still have to bathe her unless u feel he might harm her. Thats his daughter just as much as she is urs its not a big deal

[grizzlace]

Let him know directly whats on your mind. That would **** me off to no end. And get a hold of your lawyer to see what he/she says.