i don't know what to do

[angiemak21]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 yrs now, up until june of this yr we (actually he got his own apt) moved out of his moms basement. so he got his own apt. that i thought was both of ours b/c we have been living together for 5 in a half yrs and i had to move back in with my parents.he told me i couldn't move in with him cuz he can't afford to support us both. I am bipolar and have panic disorder and am waiting on disability. Then in early july i went to help my sister with her baby in GA for a month and a half. during my stay there he would call which was ok and sounded sincere,loving, and more supportive.so he had the choice of either letting me move in with him or not and he decided he really wanted me to so i left GA and came back home early.Then when i get back he tells me that he has a roomate (in a 1bdrm apt) and its this girl that i don't like b/c she is obsessed with him.then she started being immature and insulting me left and right. my boyfriend did nothing about it, whenever she calls him or texts him he always answers them.he takes her feeling into concideration not mine. i can't go to the apt b/c she doesn't want me there and he won't take me there.she texts him everyday all day.she knows that i can't come over there and he had asked her if she could stay with her mom for a few days so him and i can have some alone time but since she didn't like that he was spending time with me she said no.for the past 3 wks all we do is argue and yell at each other and i bring up the problem which is his roomate he won't answer my questions and gets defensive.plus when we are together i would like to have 100 % of his attention but she constinely and he he responds.yesterday i caught him in lie and now i can't trust him or anything he says to me, also if something is going on behind my back.he tells me he wants to be with me and i have his heart but i am so confused about first how to bring up questions w/o an arguement and if i should leave him? ant opininons would be a tremendous help i am at my wits end. thankx

[jo929]

when one lives with one for 6 years , and he has not married you all bets are that he does not intend to, also it may hurt, but it looks like he has found someone else, so let him go and do not embarras your self begging for his love he will just run faster i do feel for you, and you may find someone else when you quit chasing him  luck  jo

[sammy73]

Sorry, but this does not sound good to me.  If he really cared about being with you, he would tell this girl to sling her hook.  No way does any guy who really wants to be with some girl, will put up with a flat-mate that refuses to let his girlfriend stay over, even if that was another guy!  He is spending more time with her than he is with you - even if she didn't have a history of being "obsessed with him" this would be worrying.  This is a 1-bedroom flat - where is she sleeping?

You need to find out where his loyalties are.  You've been together for 6 years, that's a fair amount of time, either that should count for something or he's lost interest.  You need to find out which.  If he is not prepared to tell this girl to find somewhere else to live, and focus his attentions on you, it would sound like he's not that bothered about maintaining this relationship.

When issuing ultimatums, it may help to show a bit of give and take, that you are not being unreasonable and are prepared to contribute to the solution.  So you should say that you are not insisting the girl move out tomorrow, that he should give her enough time to find somewhere else to move to.  I don't know what your financial situation is, but you should offer to contribute to household costs - at the very least cover your own costs (half the food bill etc.), ideally a share of rent/electricity/'phone bills too.  If he doesn't go for this deal, I don't think you've got much of a relationship left.

[treazzure007]

he tells you he wants you and wants you to move in with him, but when you get there he has a roommate???  is that right?
i see alternatives being that you stay where you were, not living with him, while continuing to date him if you MUST have him or better still
leave him and get with guy that doesn't share 1 bedroom apartments with ladies