I'm begging for an answer

[Moma2006]

I am a single mom of a wonderful 4 yr old Lil boy his dad has never been around and I'm ok with that he is very into drugs and not a good role model for my son. Now the hard part. I am 3 1/2 months pregnant (I switched bc and thought I would be ok for 2 weeks) my boyfriend and I vegan arguing when I found out I was pregnant and he has now moved out after him cheating on me with at least 2 others and talking to 8 total. I truely feel as if it's all over. Please tell me what to do? How do I get him to realize what he is doing? Or even come to terms with myself and the situation I'm in? Please help!

[Moma2006]

Thank you very much for your advise I feel like the thought of adoption doesn't leave my mind although I just don't think I can go threw with it. Thank you very much. I appreciate this.

[RockRose]

Moma,  these are two men who are completely gone.  Your darling son is completely bonded to you and is the light of your life,  and he needs you.

This second baby with no dad doesn't know you,  and isn't bonded to you.  Have you considered adoption?  That way this baby would have a stable two parent family who desperately want a baby.

I suggest to you that you completely write off this second boyfriend,  as you have the first,  and give this newborn up for adoption and focus your life on your son.

It sounds you are a very sweet woman who really don't know how to judge men correctly.

Best wishes.  This must be very,  very difficult.  Prayers for you and your children.

[Moma2006]

I really don't have anyone. It's been me and my sob for so long. I just hurt so much. Thank you for your time.

[specialmom]

Oh no, I am so sad for you.  What a hard situation to be in.  So, you have a 4 year old  with a loser druggie and he is non existent and you are pregnant by another loser who lies and cheats on  you.  I'm thinking that we put the "men" on hold and just concentrate on these little beings you are bringing into the world. I know it is hard to face raising two kids alone but YOU CAN DO IT.  The guy moved out because you weren't getting along and were arguing.  Well, yeah.  I'd fight and argue as well if my bf slept with other women.  Good reason to NOT get along.  Normally I try to have couples work it out for the sake of the children, but for some reason I see this as different.  I think it is because I suspect you've never done the hard work of examining what is an appropriate man to be with.  You really need to do this.  If your bf were wanting to come back and work on things . . . maybe you would have a shot.  But your wanting to "convince" him to come back means his heart wouldn't be in it and it will most likely end badly.  Hon, you are seriously in a tough place.

So, I think you make preperations for being a single mom of two minus dating and men in our life for a while.  If you can't trust yourself to make healthy choices, then don't invite the chaos into your life and that of your kids.  Do you have friends and family?  Lean on them.  You'll need support.  
I think that you should try to stay cordial (but romantically distant) from your boyfriend so that he will perhaps take an interest in his child and try to be a father to him/her.  Hopefully he will.  

But please, do not date.  Take a long bit of time off from that because it is not going so well for you.  And when you have time----------  you can try to figure out why.  A therapist is excellent in guiding discussions about that but I'm guessing you do not have the ability to do that right now.  Churches often have counseling that they can offer.  It is also a safe place most of the time to get support.  Good luck to you and your children.  I wish you the best.