Aa
Is my spouse bipolar?
He gets upset over little things, he's constantly focused on one thing for a month then bounces to another, has visions of grandeur (seriously thinks he's the smartest person ever), tells me every thing I do wrong like if I don't load the dishwasher to his standard or leave a small amount of baby formula dust on the counter. He's driven away my parents and has little contact with his. Threatens suicide if I ever leave.
It's crazy but I'm not sure if bipolar. Still he doesn't think he has a problem and says he wouldn't trust a doctor to diagnose him. He also fills our house with "stuff to protect us from the bad guys" and constantly quizzes me about where they are hidden and their use. He came home the other day with military grade mace and 3Med it to my front door. Seriously.
Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do. We have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. He has some mild violent tendencies, which I do try to keep in check if I see them. He will sometimes grab my DDs face with one hand and squeezes her cheeks to get her to look at him but we've agreed now he should use two hands to gently bring her face to his. But still I worry that as he gets older and they get older it could get worse. He also used to grab her up and shove her into the couch when she misbehaved. She's never said Oww mind you, but I still don't think that's the way to discipline. Thinks I'm a pushover cause I put her in time out on her bed.
Sorry for the rant but I just don't know what to do with him. I've threatened to leave if he doesn't get treatment but he told me the government would take our kids from us if I sent him to a psychiatrist because he said the only way he would go would be if I got questioned too. Then he told me if he got a positive diagnosis it wouldn't matter because they obviously wouldn't know what they were talking about so he wouldn't take treatment. Ugh.
He's also abusive to our two dogs. He picks them up by the scruff of their neck and slides them across the floor or hams their head into the wall. The oldest dog now acts psychotic from all this. Constantly scared, barks at nothing, etc. The younger one has bit me twice recently for running around the house.
He also obsesses over everything our daughter does. She can't say doggie...it has to be dog. She's 2 for goodness sake! He doesn't like her playing with dolls, she can't sleep with a doll or nightlight or sound machine.
His dad was abusive to him and his 4 siblings. But he says he's nothing like him. He's never hurt me physically except for grabbing my wrist hard a few times. I had small bruising in two spots. But when we argue he will slam doors, throw remotes, etc.
I'm going to start counseling by myself to lay the groundwork then hopefully bring him in and get a diagnosis. Then proceed to a psychiatrist for meds for him hopefully.
It's crazy but I'm not sure if bipolar. Still he doesn't think he has a problem and says he wouldn't trust a doctor to diagnose him. He also fills our house with "stuff to protect us from the bad guys" and constantly quizzes me about where they are hidden and their use. He came home the other day with military grade mace and 3Med it to my front door. Seriously.
Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do. We have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. He has some mild violent tendencies, which I do try to keep in check if I see them. He will sometimes grab my DDs face with one hand and squeezes her cheeks to get her to look at him but we've agreed now he should use two hands to gently bring her face to his. But still I worry that as he gets older and they get older it could get worse. He also used to grab her up and shove her into the couch when she misbehaved. She's never said Oww mind you, but I still don't think that's the way to discipline. Thinks I'm a pushover cause I put her in time out on her bed.
Sorry for the rant but I just don't know what to do with him. I've threatened to leave if he doesn't get treatment but he told me the government would take our kids from us if I sent him to a psychiatrist because he said the only way he would go would be if I got questioned too. Then he told me if he got a positive diagnosis it wouldn't matter because they obviously wouldn't know what they were talking about so he wouldn't take treatment. Ugh.
He's also abusive to our two dogs. He picks them up by the scruff of their neck and slides them across the floor or hams their head into the wall. The oldest dog now acts psychotic from all this. Constantly scared, barks at nothing, etc. The younger one has bit me twice recently for running around the house.
He also obsesses over everything our daughter does. She can't say doggie...it has to be dog. She's 2 for goodness sake! He doesn't like her playing with dolls, she can't sleep with a doll or nightlight or sound machine.
His dad was abusive to him and his 4 siblings. But he says he's nothing like him. He's never hurt me physically except for grabbing my wrist hard a few times. I had small bruising in two spots. But when we argue he will slam doors, throw remotes, etc.
I'm going to start counseling by myself to lay the groundwork then hopefully bring him in and get a diagnosis. Then proceed to a psychiatrist for meds for him hopefully.
Agree with SM.
"I'm going to start counseling by myself to lay the groundwork then hopefully bring him in and get a diagnosis. Then proceed to a psychiatrist for meds for him hopefully.".................That's a good and smart start. Great plan.
"I'm going to start counseling by myself to lay the groundwork then hopefully bring him in and get a diagnosis. Then proceed to a psychiatrist for meds for him hopefully.".................That's a good and smart start. Great plan.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am not a fan of trying to 'diagnose' a third party over the internet. It's really unfair to get the partner of someone giving chosen details and having people throw out things like bipolar, narcissist, etc. If you feel your boyfriend has a serious medical psychiatric condition, encourage evaluation with a psychiatrist. And consider if you want to be in a relationship with him. But we can not diagnose someone here. good luck
What I was getting at, is if he was deployed military he might have PTSD.
He sounds like he might have some kind of generalized personality disorder that's not related to trauma.
I wonder, along with CML, if you noticed he was like this before?
He sounds like he might have some kind of generalized personality disorder that's not related to trauma.
I wonder, along with CML, if you noticed he was like this before?
He is a militaristic type for sure but never served. Said he didn't trust congress enough to make decisions for him. Ugh.
I agree that he sounds "brushed" with narcissism and paranoia and anxiety and overall personality disorder and anger issues, but I don't think he could be diagnosed with any of those. He's "brushed" with them.
He sounds like he has PTSD to me. Is he former military? Has he served in a war zone?
His need to control his environment is extreme - from being a crazy neatnick, to controlling his daughter's speech and what she takes to bed, etc.
He sounds like he has PTSD to me. Is he former military? Has he served in a war zone?
His need to control his environment is extreme - from being a crazy neatnick, to controlling his daughter's speech and what she takes to bed, etc.
H Rain,
I am curious, was he like this before you were married? Has some event taken place recently to cause this mental change?
In my opinion you are describing a very volatile personality. It could be Bi Polar or Narcissistic personality disorder. The paranoia is a real concern though and YES he has been physically abusive to you if you have been grabbed by the wrists hard enough to sustain marks, your daughter has been treated roughly, and the dogs are being abused.
Do you see a pattern here?? His behavior is escalating and whatever mental disability you want to call it he has ONE and needs to see a Psychiatrist for an evaluation. You may need to contact one and arrange an intervention with you, his family, and yours. He needs medication and observation by a professional .
Please discuss this with your family and his. He will not admit HE has the problem, that is part of the mental illness. Maybe you could start slowly by going to a marriage counselor--that should not threaten him , but they will see his behavior for what it is and may be of some help.
For you, your daughter, and your pets safety, do it NOW!
Let us know how it is proceeding , we are here for support, K?
CML
I am curious, was he like this before you were married? Has some event taken place recently to cause this mental change?
In my opinion you are describing a very volatile personality. It could be Bi Polar or Narcissistic personality disorder. The paranoia is a real concern though and YES he has been physically abusive to you if you have been grabbed by the wrists hard enough to sustain marks, your daughter has been treated roughly, and the dogs are being abused.
Do you see a pattern here?? His behavior is escalating and whatever mental disability you want to call it he has ONE and needs to see a Psychiatrist for an evaluation. You may need to contact one and arrange an intervention with you, his family, and yours. He needs medication and observation by a professional .
Please discuss this with your family and his. He will not admit HE has the problem, that is part of the mental illness. Maybe you could start slowly by going to a marriage counselor--that should not threaten him , but they will see his behavior for what it is and may be of some help.
For you, your daughter, and your pets safety, do it NOW!
Let us know how it is proceeding , we are here for support, K?
CML
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