Aa
Is she really pregnant?
I have been talking to this girl I met online for a few months. She lives in Boston and I live in NY. She comes to NY to visit me we have sex without protection I “pull out” of course. She tells me she’s on birth control, so we have sex that day she goes home the next day. She gets really attached and wants to be my girl she starts talking about moving to NY to be with me. So I’m like this chick is crazy. I tell her that I don’t wanna be with her I still wanna see other girls if you don’t wanna see me anymore its ok we can still be friends. Anyways she still wants to see me. I can tell she has really strong feelings for me already even though we only actually met that one time. She’s not a bad person I thought just way too attached too fast. Plus she lives with her baby’s father. She claims they stopped having sex. She knows I see someone else. So one day I didn’t reply to her texts at all so she texts me u probably with your friend that’s why you can’t text me. So I’m thinking you’re not my girlfriend it’s none of your business who I’m with. So I text her back and tell her about herself. She doesn’t reply and doesn’t text me until the next day. I told her I was working out so she said to text her when I’m done. So I didn’t text her to the next day. She tells me I better have not been with her and she seemed upset.
So the very next day I text her and she tells me she’s pregnant. So I flipped out in disbelief. I’m 28 I have no kids. I have been with girls for years and they never got pregnant and she got pregnant in 1 night? I tell her it’s not mine she lying. The very next day I wake up to a voice mail saying that she went to the ER and they did an ultrasound and said she’s 6 weeks. We would have conceived 5 weeks and 2days prior to that day. She says they went by her last period. My friend did the calculations and she said it should be 7 weeks but whatever. So I’m angry I tell her to leave me alone and not to talk to me. What made me so angry is why didn’t she say she thinks she’s pregnant why not give me a warning. No my period is late I’m have morning sickness just out of the blue I’m pregnant. I ignore her for a few days and she texts me today and says I could at least checked on her to see how’s she’s doing. I tell her to forget about me and stop texting me. We start going back and forth arguing. Now I’m thinking let me get some answers because if she really is having my kid imma feel really bad if I’m not there for my first born. I ask her what she go to the ER for? She said she was having abdominal pain. I tell her to let me see the discharge papers. She says it doesn’t say anything about being pregnant it just says to take Tylenol for the pain. But I recently been to the ER because I had foot pain they took X-Rays and it says on the papers basically that they took X-Rays they didn’t see anything wrong. So if she went to the ER for abdominal pain and they found that she was pregnant through an ultrasound shouldn’t that be on the discharge papers? I tell her to let me see the papers anyway so I can check the date to see if she even went to the ER but she said she can’t find them.
I said you told me you were on birth control so you lied to me? She says she didn’t take it that day but she didn’t thing she would get pregnant. Everyone knows you have to take it every day for it to work. But I’m thinking to myself one freaking condom would’ve saved me all this trouble. But I can’t change that now. She tells me how she’s scared because the baby is gonna come out darker than her other kids. I’m black and she’s Hispanic. I asked her if she told her baby’s father yet she said no but he seen her taking the pregnancy test and said “you go to NY and come back home pregnant.” I’m thinking any normal woman would’ve gone in the bathroom and locked the door. So my friend gives me a good idea she says see if she will come to NY so you can go to the DR with her. So she gives me a hard time about it at first but she agrees. We are supposed to go June 10th. I have a feeling like she’s going to flake because of some of the things she was saying. Apart of me thinks she lying but a part of me is like what if it’s true. She already said she’s not getting an abortion. She says she wouldn’t lie. She sent me a pic of the positive home pregnancy test but that could be from when she had her daughter who’s only 8 months. I asked why you didn’t tell me you might be pregnant? She said she didn’t want me to freak out. But I tell her you didn’t have any problem telling me you was pregnant but you can’t tell me you think you are pregnant and just a week or 2 ago she was saying she had an appointment to get her tubes tied because she doesn’t want any more kids. If you think you are pregnant why would you do that? Just a lot of things don’t make sense but what if she really is? Sigh*
So the very next day I text her and she tells me she’s pregnant. So I flipped out in disbelief. I’m 28 I have no kids. I have been with girls for years and they never got pregnant and she got pregnant in 1 night? I tell her it’s not mine she lying. The very next day I wake up to a voice mail saying that she went to the ER and they did an ultrasound and said she’s 6 weeks. We would have conceived 5 weeks and 2days prior to that day. She says they went by her last period. My friend did the calculations and she said it should be 7 weeks but whatever. So I’m angry I tell her to leave me alone and not to talk to me. What made me so angry is why didn’t she say she thinks she’s pregnant why not give me a warning. No my period is late I’m have morning sickness just out of the blue I’m pregnant. I ignore her for a few days and she texts me today and says I could at least checked on her to see how’s she’s doing. I tell her to forget about me and stop texting me. We start going back and forth arguing. Now I’m thinking let me get some answers because if she really is having my kid imma feel really bad if I’m not there for my first born. I ask her what she go to the ER for? She said she was having abdominal pain. I tell her to let me see the discharge papers. She says it doesn’t say anything about being pregnant it just says to take Tylenol for the pain. But I recently been to the ER because I had foot pain they took X-Rays and it says on the papers basically that they took X-Rays they didn’t see anything wrong. So if she went to the ER for abdominal pain and they found that she was pregnant through an ultrasound shouldn’t that be on the discharge papers? I tell her to let me see the papers anyway so I can check the date to see if she even went to the ER but she said she can’t find them.
I said you told me you were on birth control so you lied to me? She says she didn’t take it that day but she didn’t thing she would get pregnant. Everyone knows you have to take it every day for it to work. But I’m thinking to myself one freaking condom would’ve saved me all this trouble. But I can’t change that now. She tells me how she’s scared because the baby is gonna come out darker than her other kids. I’m black and she’s Hispanic. I asked her if she told her baby’s father yet she said no but he seen her taking the pregnancy test and said “you go to NY and come back home pregnant.” I’m thinking any normal woman would’ve gone in the bathroom and locked the door. So my friend gives me a good idea she says see if she will come to NY so you can go to the DR with her. So she gives me a hard time about it at first but she agrees. We are supposed to go June 10th. I have a feeling like she’s going to flake because of some of the things she was saying. Apart of me thinks she lying but a part of me is like what if it’s true. She already said she’s not getting an abortion. She says she wouldn’t lie. She sent me a pic of the positive home pregnancy test but that could be from when she had her daughter who’s only 8 months. I asked why you didn’t tell me you might be pregnant? She said she didn’t want me to freak out. But I tell her you didn’t have any problem telling me you was pregnant but you can’t tell me you think you are pregnant and just a week or 2 ago she was saying she had an appointment to get her tubes tied because she doesn’t want any more kids. If you think you are pregnant why would you do that? Just a lot of things don’t make sense but what if she really is? Sigh*
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, I'm glad man. I believe we learn our best lessons from difficult things. This was a near disaster------------ so glad it has given you the wisdom for next time!
You're very right. I guess that was a sick of her trying to hold on to me but it only made me run the other way. I can't understand why she would say something so drastic to keep in her life but I did get off lucky.
Reflecting and reflecting again! LOL! Either way, you are off the hook bro! Run the other direction away from this chick! And fast. Don't even think about turning around and getting some! There are plenty of crazies out there to avoid. This one is wearing a name tag and is making it easy to identify her! "Hello, My name is CRAZY". RED FLAGS FLASHING RED LIGHTS KOO KOO! Best of luck to you!
And that is when I believe she is a liar liar pants on fire. Either that or she's an entirely selfish person who does not value life.
I am entirely with Annie.
I am entirely with Annie.
Upon reflection, she *would* have come at you with a paternity suit, if she wanted your attention and talking to you online wasn't working. She would never have gotten a (so-called) abortion if she was pregnant with your baby -- it would be the golden ticket to you. You called her bluff, so she blustered and blamed you, but seriously, if there was a real baby, she would keep it in order to keep the link to you and get your attention (and presumably your money). You are so well out of it.
Lucky you. I am not trying to be flip, but she sounds like she is faking it big time (though I did expect it to be a so-called miscarriage, not a supposedly-guilt-inducing "abortion."
Please steelers, use this to get your head straight on how to do relationships with some principles and certainty. At least only get involved with ladies you know in person, and with whom you have friends in common, so you know they are who they say they are. The Internet is great for only saying and showing what very tiny amount one wants to say and show. This girl, cheating on the guy she is living with, high drama, and possibly faking a pregnancy ... you are lucky to get off this lightly. The next one might come at you with a paternity suit or a knife.
Please steelers, use this to get your head straight on how to do relationships with some principles and certainty. At least only get involved with ladies you know in person, and with whom you have friends in common, so you know they are who they say they are. The Internet is great for only saying and showing what very tiny amount one wants to say and show. This girl, cheating on the guy she is living with, high drama, and possibly faking a pregnancy ... you are lucky to get off this lightly. The next one might come at you with a paternity suit or a knife.
I have been ignoring her for the past few days because she seems to really want attention from me. But even if you are pregnant we don't have to talk ya know? So today she sends me a text saying she is doing to have an abortion because she feels like i'm not going to be in the babies life she also said she hates my guts and she doesn't want to know anything about me...
DNA tests are available at Walgreens or your local drug store discretely for the practical price of $39 last time I checked. Just sayn....Apparently this is a common thing to have to do nowadays. not judging... been there myself...
I agree whole heartedly with Annie. Tread carefully and if she is in fact pregnant don't do the at home dna tests. Like she said, she could easily swap it with her ex/bf's whatever he is dna.
ps -- Watch out for that old favorite, "I had a miscarriage."
pps -- Even if there is a baby (and my bet is that there is not) and if the DNA test proves it to be yours, you do not have to have a relationship with her during the so-called pregnancy. Wait until you have proof, and be sure the DNA test is brokered properly through someone like a doctor you choose or a lawyer, so you know she's not exchanging the swab for her live-in's swab or something before handing it in.
pps -- Even if there is a baby (and my bet is that there is not) and if the DNA test proves it to be yours, you do not have to have a relationship with her during the so-called pregnancy. Wait until you have proof, and be sure the DNA test is brokered properly through someone like a doctor you choose or a lawyer, so you know she's not exchanging the swab for her live-in's swab or something before handing it in.
It doesn't sound very true, to me. If she really had an ultrasound when she said she did, she should be willing to send you a copy of it. The dates should line up with what she told you on the phone. (There should be dates written on the screen of the ultrasound, and they would show on the photo of the ultrasound.) She should be willing to send you the doctor's name, and the records from the clinic or hospital visit. She should also be willing to get an ultrasound when you see her on June 10, for the purpose of dating the pregnancy.
Write out a timeline, including the date when you had sex. If she was pregnant from that particular time, the way a doctor and ultrasound tech would count the pregnancy is two weeks before the date you had sex. In other words, if you had sex 5 weeks and 2 days before she told you she was pregnant, if the pregnancy dated from that day, the doctor would indeed have told her that her pregnancy was about 7 weeks along or even a couple of days more, "if" he saw it on the ultrasound.
She has a lot of reasons to tell you that she's pregnant by you, if she is obsessed with being your girlfriend, and there's no proof yet that she is telling you anything except a made-up story.
DNA test, if there is a baby and once it gets born, is the only way to go at that point.
Write out a timeline, including the date when you had sex. If she was pregnant from that particular time, the way a doctor and ultrasound tech would count the pregnancy is two weeks before the date you had sex. In other words, if you had sex 5 weeks and 2 days before she told you she was pregnant, if the pregnancy dated from that day, the doctor would indeed have told her that her pregnancy was about 7 weeks along or even a couple of days more, "if" he saw it on the ultrasound.
She has a lot of reasons to tell you that she's pregnant by you, if she is obsessed with being your girlfriend, and there's no proof yet that she is telling you anything except a made-up story.
DNA test, if there is a baby and once it gets born, is the only way to go at that point.
1st. The pull out method isn't a form of b/c. Many people have gotten pregnant this way so yes, it is possible for her to be pregnant.
2nd. Doctors can only guess at how far along you are without an u/s and then the u/s can be off by up to 2 weeks. I was pregnant with twins and if we didn't know what week I conceived (the only week my husband was home. He's a marine and at the time was stationed a few states away from me.) we wouldn't have known how old the boys were. The u/s was off by almost 2 weeks b/c of how small they were. So it's possible.
3rd. A pregnancy test isn't accurate after 10 minutes. I kept two of the tests from when I tested with my boys for their baby books and the screen in them turned completely white after a few weeks. The screens on the two digital tests I took went completely blank after 15 minutes. So it's highly unlikely it was an old test. It is possible though that a friend of hers is pregnant and peed on the test for her.
You're going to just have to wait and see if 1. a baby is born and 2. get a paternity test.
2nd. Doctors can only guess at how far along you are without an u/s and then the u/s can be off by up to 2 weeks. I was pregnant with twins and if we didn't know what week I conceived (the only week my husband was home. He's a marine and at the time was stationed a few states away from me.) we wouldn't have known how old the boys were. The u/s was off by almost 2 weeks b/c of how small they were. So it's possible.
3rd. A pregnancy test isn't accurate after 10 minutes. I kept two of the tests from when I tested with my boys for their baby books and the screen in them turned completely white after a few weeks. The screens on the two digital tests I took went completely blank after 15 minutes. So it's highly unlikely it was an old test. It is possible though that a friend of hers is pregnant and peed on the test for her.
You're going to just have to wait and see if 1. a baby is born and 2. get a paternity test.
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