My husband doing somethings strange during sex

[baby_onthe_way]

I just feel unconfrontable when hes going down on me and sometimes I can not get off from just him doing so.So I ask him to use my vibrator on me but I normally end up using it but hes down there and always sucks and licks on the vibrator more then me.I have told him how it makes me feel.But it continues.I could use some advise on that?

Also,my husband gets off faster and seems to enjoy it when I am faking him raping me instead of just being myself and enjoying it.He can come either way but I felt strange he prefers that sometimes.I could use some advise on that?

[swirlingcoffee]

agree - what really matters is what you're comfortable with, but in general, I can tell you he's pretty tame on the continuum of puritanical to deviant.

The rape thing is more tricky, but the rest sounds playful.  I like to hold my woman's bottom, fingers pressing around the anus, when we're having sex.  It makes her a little tighter and I can feel myself moving in her (regular sex, not anal).

I admire your husband for having the courage to share these things with you, and you for obviously being loving enough to help him to be comfortable sharing.  I wish I had that.

Good luck

[Trialanderror]

Good comments, Woozy. Just wanted to add, Baby_onthe_Way, that on the other hand it is nice that your husband seems to feel so close to you that he dares to act out his fantasies with you versus oggling some questionable porn sites by himself. I do know the awkward feeling, though, if woman feels pressured to play a certain role. For the joy of sex I would rather be myself than put on that dang cheerleader outfit for the umptiest time...

[slow_healer]

I agree with the previous posters in that sexual fantasies can be hard to explain - even to ourselves. It might help if your partner could explain/describe his fantasies to you. If you could find some basis which you two can relate in the fantasy, it might take the pressure off.

Rape fantasies are a touchy one, though I'm impressed your partner has confided that to you. Some people are able to ignore what society tells them is "normal" (e.g. rape is bad) while others can't escape the social conditioning they've received. For the record, both men and women are known to have rape fantasies. I just want to let you know, baby_onthe_way, that your husband isn't *strange* or anything (from what you've described). It just sounds like more communication between you two would help. Good luck!

[celeste0911]

ohhh! this sounds too private for me, but would like to share it with you, when we make love, what I find so strange from him is that he loves to hold the outer part of my anus.  I feel so awkard about it, but of course I wouldnt let him hold it when I am not fresh and all set to lovemaking.

[woozy]

I would just ask him why he's doing it..it could be he's lubricating it for you..or indulging in some homo-erotic fantasy?? I would try not worry too,too much..We all have crazy fantasies..maybe you could indulge yourself in one to help you orgasm when he's "down there"..
One thing you could try is having some "regular" lovemaking sessions and some "fantasy indulgent" ones. You have to let him know about this though or you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
he's probably going to orgasm quicker with the kinkier stuff but I would only start to worry if he cannot orgasm unless he's doing kinky stuff..
the intimacy you share during sex is a powerful thing no matter the fantasies and all the rest..I'm pretty sure fantasies and role playing are pretty normal.. i do it and i'm a woman.
as far as the rape fantasy goes..that's a touchy one and a very personal one,. I can say i've indulged in it with my husband but then I've become upset later on in a similar situation. i can't give too much advice,but to say as long as you are both comfortable, and not hurting each other, it's your own private business. but you shouldn't go along with it if it's upsetting you.
i think the most important thing is you talk with him about these things. communicate.. it's really vital.
good luck to you.