Help! Young and confused.

[curious07]

My boyfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for abut a year now. We have been living together for the majority of the time as well. It has been quite the journey already, nice, but also stressful. We are 20 and 21, and we believe we are in love. He has only had one other relationship that was not serious, they split after 6 mths or so. He is not very experienced in the woman department, ie: how to respond, just generally give me the love and support I need, though I know genuinely he does care about me. I have had a promiscuous past (I moved of my parents house at young age, fell into a bad cycle, and I have set up for myself the "ideal" man.  Though I know they were fake. When we first got together we were AMAZING, the connection was what ever other couple would envy. The problem is, is that as we are getting closer and more comfortable, I am feeling uneasy and confused and scared. I try and tell him of my feelings, and he shuts down completely...like I mean COMPLETELY. He is extremely immature, and has been babied his whole life, and I just don't have any idea of how to deal with this until he "catches" up to me. I am so lost and ready to jsut give up.  I am extremely mature beyond my years due to the extreme experiences my whole life and he just cannot rap his head around it. His consistent shutting down all the time, makes me feel insecure and needy and leads to clingy behaviours, and I know that these types of behaviours is what will eventually kill our relationship.

[Crumpit]

Thanks You all so much, You Have all give me such good advise, And you all seemed to be right.
We did't last and that is because he did't care evan if he did say he did.
i miss him alot, but alot of rubbsih has happernd since we have broken but in the end i no what right for me now ,
And he ovobsily is not the one for me, but you no what they say you will never forget your first love.

[Toniyo]

Wow i am sorry for you. I have been in relationships with the same kind of behaviors. I would definately recomend a profesional therapy sesion with someone who can help u get through this. Also it would be good to see what their opinion is about ur relationship. Good luck!

[Crumpit]

i do berlive in Love and i don't  know if i am in it. I had  been with this boy before,  for eight mouths and then we split.But two years went by and now we are back together. I Love being with him and he say the same,
I Am only 13 but a muture 13 year old girl my boyfriend is 16. But all this is now is that i am more scared then anything,like i talk to people but they never give him  a chance all they say is that he wont me for one thing. But i don't know if that is  true or not We have now started to argue alot and that is because i don't tell him things, Like how i am feeling and that,But it just i never know how to say it? I Do want him to Love me that is all i wont but how am i ment to do that? Am i just wasting my time?

[shygirl1981]

unfortunately you can not force him to do anything he doesnt want to do. sounds like maybe you want this relationship more than he does?! are you the one doing all the initiating? if so it might be time to move on! find out if it worth your time. if not, there will be a man who is.

[trubeauty]

I think that you need to sit him down and express your feelings to your boyfriend and if he responds in a positive way then try working on the problems that both of you have. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 25 I've known him for 7 years didn't really get to know him until the we moved in together and have been for the past year.I regret it so bad because he showed me a side that I've never seen.We don't even have the same beliefs in certain areas.We still are in love with each other because of history, but you don't really get to know a person untill you live with them,and if their not willing to change some of the bad habbits they have for you and not willing to meet you half way on certain things then they don't care about you.That person may love you but their actions will show they don't care.Communication is a must and each party must be humble enough to listen.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

If you cannot communicate there is little hope for this relationship.