First time... is it too soon?

[aBear15]

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost four months already. And he has been wanting to go all the way, and so have I. I havn't seen him in a month though, because my mom has not taken me over there. Next time I am with him I want to try to go all the way, but another part of me says I should spend more time with him outside of his house. Because everytime I have spent time with him, was at his house. And we always end up getting really physical, EVERY TIME! And I was getting sick of that. And he has been talking to girls too, when I tell him I really wish that he wouldn't. There are also times when I ask him if he is cheating on me. And his answer is always no, and that he loves me, and that he couldn't possibly want anything else.
So what I really want to know is that if him and I should spend more time together before we do go all of the way. I love him, and i'm confident that he loves me. And I am also scared that I will chicken out if we do. I need some advice....

Sincerely, Confused...

[sweetpea03]

You are 15 years old and although you may feel older, please consider waiting a few years. It's much better to be 100% certain that you want to do this before you have your first time with some guy. There are a lot of things that go into sex, more than just physical and you need to be ready for that. Plus knowing that you run the risk of getting an STD/STI or get pregnant. good luck.  

[specialmom]

Guys, I'm glad you worked it out but lets be mindful that this is a thread written by a 15 year old girl looking for advice on her situation.  

[specialmom]

So we are talking about this 15 year old girl here and I think that I hope she waits for a bit until she has no doubts.  Good luck to her.

[specialmom]

The thing that we older woman can offer is wisdom of our years.  Having sex is like giving away a little piece of yourself.  And if you start too young--------  you'll have given a lot away by the time you are older.  It is useful to think of it this way when you are making a decision that is important.  Your first time is a big deal and you remember it the rest of your life.  Many people wish their first time was different than it actually was.  If you have any doubt whatsoever-------  then it is NOT the right time.  When it is, make sure you use protection.  And you will need to have very strong emotionsl to handle a sexual relationship.  And you will need to make sure that you trust this person because if he turns out to not be trustworth, something such as a reputation can spread quickly.  Just keeping it real as many a teen girl laments that this has happened to her.  good luck.  (and I still say wait.  4 months is not long and it will not make someone stay your boyfriend if they are thinking about leaving you!)

[penswriter]

you're 15 and have been dating for 4 months. 4 months is NOTHING when it comes to relationships. that's still a young relationship. 15 is WAY too young to be having sex. like judy said what about pregnancy? b/c and condoms are NOT 100% effective and you can still wind up pregnant. what about std's? again condoms break. it happens. having sex is a tremendous responsibility and i highly suggest you talk to your parents first.

i've been with my husband for 5 years, married for 2 of those and i've known him for almost 18 years...our relationship is still a young one. (as far as being together) we didn't start becoming physical until a YEAR into it. why? responsibility. neither of us wanted to get that emotionally connected to the other person until we were sure that we wanted to be together for the long run. shortly after we started...we were engaged. (we were 22 when he proposed)

[teko]

You are 15? Yes its too soon regardless of who it is and you have only been seeing this boy for 4 months. You must remember that having sex opens up a whole new world that your are neither emotionally nor physically ready for. In this day and age it is doubtful that you are going to go on and have a forever after relationship with this boy and it also sounds like the main interest here is physical. Once that happens it might last a little while and then he will start looking for the same thing elsewhere. There are also risks of pregnency, std's, etc. You dont even have a drivers license yet, are still in school. Playing like an adult means assuming the responsibilities of one and taking the consequences of one as well and you are neither ready or able to do that. You probably dont have a job and cannot even afford birth control or condoms? Just cause everyone is doing it does not make it right nor healthy. Concentrate on friends and school and put all the drama on the backburner until your on your own.

[alipeno]

I think its great that you want to have sex, but as a couple it looks like theres some issues you need to deal with before your both ready.

1. Is your mum taking you to his house really the only way you can see him?? are you able 2 meet halfway, catch a bus or meet up somewhere local?? Doing this automatically means being together in a oublic environment where you probly wouldnt be so "physical". This would allow you to see how he acts toward you in a public place, infront of his friends, near other girls etc . TELL your boyfriend even though everytime you touch its amazing, you wanna see another side of the relationship that should be just as fun- just hanging out together.
2. He talks to other girls and you tell him not to. I think this isnt a good rule in a healthy relationship. You should be comfortable in you boy, and your own feelings about each other to "allow" him to tlk to other girls. You want YOU to be the BEST THING in his world, not his CONTROLLER. Tell him your comfortable with him talking to other girls if its just friendly chit, chat, prrovided hes comfortable if you do the same with other guys- you could test out point 1. AND 2. by going out with a bunch of friends together.
3. Yes, before you go all the way i think you should spend more time together. and the most important thing to remember is mutual understanding of CONTRACEPTION. The EASIEST way to tell if your ready to have sex with your boy is if you can talk comfortably about protection with him.
4. BTW- its natural to be scared- just be yourself, relax and enjoy the experience of your first love.