Need advice.

[scaredfemale388]

What is your opinion on a 32 year old female dating a  53yr old male? I am crazy about this guy I am close to and we sort of have this thing going on, but however I dont know what to consider us as.  We uses to see each other quite often, but here lately it has been very seldom. He is a very private person and doesnt want anyone to know we see each outside of work as we work together, but yet he tells other men that I am off limits to tgem and that im his. What confuses me is that he tells me he doesnt want a relationship with me. He also said that things are getting dull also.  I am wondering of the secretive part is due to the age gap and maybe he is embarrased by me. Can someone please shed some light on the subject. Thank u.

[adgal]

Honey, I would bet any money that he does have someone at home.  A wife or long time partner.  I unknowingly dated a married man and the signs were the same...always spent time at my house, never his.  Was very careful about being seen in public with me, only gave me his cell number...all huge red flags.  I finally had enough and confronted him, and he admitted he was married.  Kicked his butt to the curb the same day.

You deserve to be proudly shown off and treated better then this.  If he is married, he is behaving like a low life.  If he is not, then he is still behaving like a low life. You deserve to be first in a man's life, not a convenience.  I would cut off communication and find someone who is deserving of you.

[Londres70]

I would continue to dating around, however, don't do this just to make him "jealous" or use it as some plan to get back at him.  

What exactly did he "come clean" about?  

My recommendations.....make progress WITHOUT him.  DON'T give him a "second chance" to mistreat you.  If you go back I am sure everything will be like just before.  BE CAREFUL.  

[scaredfemale388]

Justba heads up to everyone. I have actuallyvstarted dating around and having fun. Andvwhioe doing so he texts me everyday wanting to talkband finally come clean about somethings... we shall see. But Ifeel as if I am making progress ..

[scaredfemale388]

Thank u. Am going to start doing more dating and seeing whats out there. He is not it. Once I get out there. It will help to put him out my mind

[ku111]

No need to feel bad!  You thought he was a nice guy.  He might be but he's probably not what you are looking for.  That's why we date.  No big deal, hold your head up high and make yourself available for a guy more to what you are wanting and you deserve.  Lots of red flags on this one.  We learn in dating what we want in a life-long partner and what we don't.  No harm no foul!  It's ok.  Goodluck!

[Londres70]

As Specialmom mentioned, therapy probably isn't a bad idea especially if this has been a pattern with you in the past.  

Not sure if this has been a pattern with you or if you just don't date enough to realize or pick up on "red flags."