Boyfreind for 2 months told me he was unsure about the relationship. Need advice

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

Hey I am 23 years old and about to graduate college. I know fully well what i want from a man at this point in my life. I want commitment and the ability to build with me and if that's not what none of the guys i choose to date have to offer I cut them loose. I recently started this relationship with a guy I have known from highschool. Everything was going in an upward direction. He treated me well and he has even formed a bond with my family. We was dating for month when he decides to make us official so now we are 2 months in the relationship and I am sorr of starting to let my gaurd down and invest some feelings into him and all of sudden he says that he feels I like him more than he likes me and that he started feeling unsure about the relationship. All this started because I thought it would be cool to post pictures we took to social media. I asked him could I do it and he says he's not ready and should wait until 6 months until we're fully established. I kind of agreed, but I wanted to go with four months. The social media posting debate has been going on between us for 2 weeks. I told him that if I was really his girlfriend and he liked me then he would not mind if I post out relationship on social media. That's when he said that comment made him think. He said I was right and maybe he rushed to be in a relationship too fast and that he did not feel like he did but, because he's unsure about the social media thing then he felt at that moment he has. I was and still am upset about him saying he's unsure and he do know if he want to continue in the relationship or remain friends and build back up again. I told him no! Because that was selfish. I allowed him around my family and I began to have feelings and all of a sudden you're telling me you do not know what to do!. I think he's afraid of long term commitment. I told him to forget i ever came into his life!. I miss him a whole lot. I couldn't even sleep last night because he was on my mind, but at this point i am refusing to say anything to him. I need space and so does he. My question is should I contact him when i feel like it's time or should I let him go for good!!?? How do tell my parents and family about the sudden break up!?? This whole thing is crazy

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

Hey you all thanks for this much needed advice. I eventually talked with him yesterday and I have gotten a better understanding. He told me that he want to go back to being friends for now until he figure out himself and a relationship. He said it was his fault that he rushed things so soon and that he was very sorry because he felt as if he wanted a relationship in the beginning. I told him i could not forgive him for doing that because he should have been sure from the beginning what he wanted and not wait 2 months to tell me that he wants to go back to being friends. So we are back to being friends and I have taken away all boyfriend privileges until he's sure and ready to move to that step. I also told lets wait another 3 months so and then possibly bring up relationship.

[Nighthawk61]

You've gotten good advice, I hope you get to sleeping better soon. Now you know to have the okay to go forward on the social media sites before bringing bf home for dinner. Blessings to you,. Let us know how you're feeling in the next days and weeks, okay? I agree that you be extra good to yourself to help you move onward, and upward.

[Londres70]

Agree with SM.

Sounds like the relationship moved too fast and the social media disagreement just made things clearer for him.  

I know you are hurting, but you will be ok.

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

Thanks

[specialmom]

Sweetie, 2 months is not a deep relationship.  You were just getting to know each other.  try not to move too quickly in relationships as they often fizzle out when that is the case.

Sorry you are hurting.  Do some nice things for yourself and maybe just take a break from dating for a bit.  good luck

[BlissfulJoyAlisa]

Thanks a lot for this advice. I am deeply hurt by this. Words can't even explain how I am feeling right now! Why all of sudden he became so unsure?? Everything was going fine. I must move on and rebuild myself. I have never been let down like this before

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, I'm going to encourage you to actually look at this as a time period in life that is all about YOU.  This is when you establish yourself in your career and as a true adult living on your own.  Sure, a boyfriend is nice but should not be necessary.  

I find a lot of young woman (and older) who really want, and I mean REALLY want a serious relationship often don't fine it because that desire gets in the way of making good decisions.  Look at finding a life mate as a business proposition.  You will love the person dearly, be sexually attracted to them but also must match all of the practical things that will make for a lasting relationship.  And that takes time.  And a big component to finding a great mate is being fully independent on your own.

So, build your life as YOU.  Then add a man to it.

Dating IS to get to know if someone is a good fit or not.  MOST of the people we date are not good fits.  Again, figuring out what works and doesn't is part of what dating is really for.  And if every guy you've dated has been telling YOU that you aren't a right fit for them, then you are ignoring your own part in the search for a partner.  YOU need to also be scrutinizing these men and relationships with a harsh eye, judging if it could go further or not.  It's okay to walk away from someone you aren't sure about.  That is what you are SUPPOSED to do.  I think it has become so important to you to HAVE a man that you have put aside the most important things.  Finding the RIGHT man.  Who cares what your family thinks but I bet you a million bucks, they'd rather see you broken up than just with a guy because you want to be with a guy.  

I'd take some time off from dating and focus on you hon.  good luck