Obsession of doing anal

[CuriousGuy30]

I don't know how to start but only that i m a straight married man and happily married.
My only problem that i have is that i have Obsession of doing anal my wife doesn't wont to do anal and i m fine with that and i will never pressure her to do it.

But my problem is that i get this serious obsession once a year (like a faze) to do it that i m almost willing to cheat on her just to get it and the worst thing is i will even would do it to another man and i know i m sick in that sense.
As well as i almost went thru with it but started to panic and didn't go thru with it (only SMS him and then stopped). And that it would of been with a man. But now it bothers me so much that i don't know if there is some thing wrong with me i don't want to cheat on her i love her very much.

I haven't told her about this as it will upset her but maybe i could.
i do think i need help.
  

[Nighthawk61]

I also think that therapy would be the best place for you to talk about this , and find some kind of resolution. I think that in many relationships, the idea is cast out there, and many times it's a no go and the idea left for dead.
Sorry that you are feeling out of sorts .and hope that you find some peace.
We're always here for you.

[clement4now]

Hi,

I agree with the suggestion of therapy; it could really help put your mind at ease regarding your thoughts on obsession...
Either a sex therapist or psychotherapist, would be the type of mental health doctor who could treat you for your satisfaction issues, desires/  fantasies ~ and it is completely confidential... If you were to act on your sexual urges outside of your marriage, you could be putting yourself and your wife at risk for STD'S and/or STI's ~ be very, very careful...
Take Care

[specialmom]

Good pick up thirdtimemum.  

It is a big leap to enjoy anal, miss it when your partner does not want it and to consider calling a man to have anal sex with.  

Have you been with a man before?  

[thirdtimemum]

You start off by saying you are a 'straight' male, but by the end of the story you have divulged in saying you were texting another man in the hopes
of being able to receive some anal sex?? Maybe this is an obsession, but obviously it is spiralling out of control.....
This is not fair to your wife, I could only imagine if this was my husband posting this.....I would probably give it a go to ease your curiosity, but at the end of the day if it would only make you want it more and I didn't like it........this is a hard one and I guess at the end of the day it would be about what is more important at the end of the day, respecting your wife's wishes and your marriage, or your insatiable appetite for a type of sex your wife has no interest in and therefore you'll end up cheating on her and losing everything. Think of what is more important to you and what means more to you than giving into a fantasy or obsession that will cause you to lose more than you bargained for.

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't think your first step should be to tell her.  Talk to a therapist and work out what this means about yourself and your sexuality, and then what it might mean about your relationship with your wife and your marriage.  If she were to agree to do anal, would your interest in cheating about once a year be gone, or do you think you would find another reason once a year to be interested in cheating?  (In other words, is the issue a pretext?)  It seems to me that because it is such a powerful urge for you, there is more to it.  Talk to your therapist first, because whatever you say to your wife you want to be well considered.