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Older Man
I'm being seeing this guys for over a year. his in his 40th, I'm a younger  woman, with kids. He has no kids, nor have he ever being marriage, I'm starting to think he has committment issue, It seem like ever time he gets close to me, he'll pull away from, I know as a COP his committed to his jobs, but it has to be more to life than just being a COP. I know he cares about me & my kids. But I don't understand him being hot one moment, than cold the next. I know alot of is fellow officer would like to see him, settle & married.  I need HELP!!! I'm thinking this is a lost cause.
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145992 tn?1341348674
You've only been dating a year. I would think it takes more time for someone to make a lifelong commitment to. However he probably does have commitment issues if he's in his 40's, never been married and is still single. He's probably so set in his ways. He won't change for anyone but himself but I would communicate my concerns to him and see where he goes with what you tell him. You may just be wasting your time. Good luck.
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686059 tn?1293837427
I know a few men in there mid forties that have commitment and exclusivity issues. Just say the word "marrige" and they become phobic. It's real and it's out there. A year is significant and by now you both should know if it's a relationship that you would like to take to a higher level and it doesn't seem that it's going in that direction. I think these are early warning signs of a man who is not capable of an exclusive, committed relationship with you. It could be for many reasons not necessarily because of you or that you have children. I think you should communicate with him and ask him directly what type of relationship he is looking for and his answer should be a guide to what you want in a relationship and if it's a situation that you might need to re-evaluate. Judy
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I know some men that have never had children, seem to back away, they do not want the resposibility, maybe he is one of those, or he would have married and had children i also know a couple that married neither one felt they were parent material so they both got fixed, and are both still happy after 20 years of marriage  luck  jo
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It just seem like everything change between the two us, after I told him I had other guys out there that were interested in dating me, Which I told him that to get a reaction, which I did get a reaction, but not the reaction I wanted. It seem like his trust for me has gone down, it seem like he want to try to trust me again, but I really didn't have all this guys. I'll admit as a grown woman I shouldn't have played this mind game on a man who already had insecured problem with himself.
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145992 tn?1341348674
Yeah, that was not a good move.  Men don't like to feel that they are competing with other men.  You were trying to push him into commitment mode by kind of saying, you better hurry since I'm so wanted by all these others.  If I were you, I would tell him that you weren't being honest and tell him what you are really looking for from him.  It can go either way.  He could appreciate your honesty and then decide he may want to try with you or he may just decide that this isn't what he wants.  Either way, you need to know where you stand with him.  
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Your right, ONLY GOD & time would tell if me & him are meant to be with each other.
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686059 tn?1293837427
Amen!
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