The crap keeps mounting

[Artemis04]

My friend Pam did some more research on my ex-fiancee/bf and found out that besides the child porn conviction, there were 6 other criminal convictions and 3 traffic citations. He has a wrap sheet pretty much that began when he was 18, but my family figures he has a juevie record as well that was expounged. The traffic citations do not bother me, the other criminal offenses do. He has been charged with bail jumping, assualt/battery, obstructing an officer/disorderly conduct/resisting arrest, and perternity/child support. He owes over $15,000 in court fines. His ex-fiancee placed a restraining order on him around the time we began talking to each other based on the information that Pam sent me. His ex-fiancee is also the one he as the child with, which he can't see. I have tried to get a protective order against him but can't because I do not have an address to serve him at. But I have changed the locks at my apartment. I just wish I had found out all of this information before I began dating him. My family raised me to trust people and take their word for face value, but I see now that you can't. I am only 24 and have a lot of life ahead of me. This situation has made me stronger and makes me see that you have to thoroughly search people's background before you date them or even talk to as well as be their friend them for that matter.

[Artemis04]

Well he said he had a dregree in Culinary Arts and was working on his Associates in Business Management. He wanted to own his own restaurant and wanted us to co-owners. He had goals and aspirations, but his criminal background kind of interferred in them. But also the other thing that interferred with his goals was that he does not have his HS diploma, which Pam found when doing research on him. He has the potential to do go and be successful, if he gets his life straight. I wish him the best in life and much sucess even though he did me wrong.

I have been successful in my life with having my bachelor's and master's degrees funded with academic scholarships and grants. Having a career as a restaurant manager when I was 21. I will be graduating in May with my Masters Degree and beginning the rest of my life.

I have learned and this is what I told my ex-fiancee/bf. A man should complement a woman. We may want a man but we do not necessarily need them. If as a women we are sucessful and can hold our own, a man should be able to do the same. I do not know if he understands what I was saying, but I know. I have become a stronger person after what has happened and know that if a man can't be supportive of me regardless of if it is the soroity I am in or my educational goals.

[RockRose]

Artemis,  this is really hard on you.  I'm sure in retrospect,  you realize he wasn't a great guy.  Men who focus on their girlfriends (massages,  trips to the grocery store,  etc.) but have nothing else really to recommend them, as men,   are losers.  

Next time,  look for a guy who is primarily focused on his career,  and has a nice family,  and nice friends,  and treats you with respect but doesn't necessarily focus his entire life on you early on.  You want a guy who is focused on success,  and who is kind to you.  

[Artemis04]

From all that my friends and coworkers have discovered, I have to agree, he is a total and complete loser. A man that has to assault his ex and can

[RockRose]

Artemis,  I'm sorry you're going through all this ****.  But I'm really curious.  

He sounds like a total and complete loser.  Were there any signs at all that he was a normal person?  Like,  did he have nice friends,  a nice family,  a good job,  normal behavior,  enough money,  an intact checking account and credit cards,  happy disposition,  an acceptable place to live that was fairly clean,  etc.?

I don't think you necessarily have to search anyone's background,  you look for obvious signs right up front  of a normal person,  and a normal life.    When you date a guy,  meet his best friend,  and you won't really need to look any further for an answer to his character.