PLEASE HELP!!!!

[missezbeyondbeautiful]

I know this has nothing to do with health, except I believe it does when it pertains to stress, etc... I'd rather receive advice from other women & see what you women would do in this situation.... I am 20 years old and just a few days ago got into another fight with my boyfriend of two years... I'm currently staying atmy mom's until April 3rd then comes my big change.... I have two options I can stay with my sister in Chicago where my bf lives down the street or my other sister in Joliet, il... the disadvantages of staying in Chicago is because my bf lives down the street and I know if he wants to see me then I'll give in and give up on all my goals because I'm too busy trying to fix our relationship. I do want to be with him but I want our lives together first. She has her wife and ,5 kids there and one I was sharing a room with, its stressful there and all of the kids ate disrespectful. They smoke weed all day and I don't want to be around that.. I always stay in my room because even though it's my family I feel uncomfortable around them allot, but she told me I always have a home there. I also have another interview out there and I feel I have more freedom at her house... now my sister in Joliet, she doesn't smoke weed but I feel being there will help me focus on me instead of all my focus on my relationship. I do think if I go there they'll take advantage of me to watch the kids and more stuff. They told me if my sister gets a job before me then I will have to baby sit. But I am trying to get into college and get a job and I think this will hinder those opportunities. They are known as liars and talk behind people's backs. I would again have to share a room with a neice... I don't want to stay at neither because both homes are not peaceful, but beggers can't be choosers. I'm just trying to get my things together in the most positive  peaceful fast way I can. What would u ladies do in this situation, where would u choose to stay??? Please help I really need advise in an limited amount of time... Thank you

[specialmom]

Do you have the same kind of job opportunities and college opportunities in Joliet?  What about stay where you are a bit so you can gain access to college before going anywhere.  

Neither living situation sounds great to me.  I'd look for other options.  good luck

[Chima7]

It's been my experience that whenever I've taken the route of giving up things i needed for planning my future for the sake of any of my relationships, it's always turned out badly for me. So my advice is that you do what you need to do to secure your future by getting yourself established first. Relationships don't always work out and it's so important to be in a strong independent place already so you can keep moving forward in your life even if the relationship doesn't work out.

I'm familiar with Chicago so I know the distance between Chicago and Joilet. It's a hike but not unmanageable. If it means you'll be able to get grounded and establish some kind of future for yourself then that's what you need to do.

It sounds like you're spending more time on trying to please him to keep the relationship going than you are planning for your future. You shouldn't put your dreams and aspirations on hold for anyone because in the end you'll end up being farther behind and it will make it harder to get to a state of independence.

If I was in your position, I'd go live with your sister. It sounds like that's the better option for you. If this relationship is meant to be it will work out regardless of whether you live down the street or miles away.