PLEASE help meeeeeeee

[inmajortrouble]

Me and my boyfriend have been arguing for the past 3 months now and havnt been getting along good, and now has come to the point were he said if we argue in the next few days its gonna be over, and i take soo much **** from him but he dnt believes so, but all i ask for is for him to show he loves me but he says no he said i have to be nice to him, but i find it hard, and if we break up i think there is a good possablity i will commit suaside, right now im in a state, and i just cnt control my self, im sooo scared. help me

[lkayj4]

Im on your side so don't take any of this wrong,ok?
First of all,there's nothing wrong with you! You just need to get off this pitty train your on because it's takeing you for a ride in the wrong direction! You know,the most attractive part about any person is there self confidence ! And your confidence should not be based on the amount of time's your boyfriend say's I love you. It's based on how much you love you ! People will react to you the same way you project your self ! Remember that !    And the next time you get upset at your boyfriend,ask your self ( Is it really so importent and werth fighting for ?) Some time's we worry too much about the small stuff,when we should just let it go.  Even if you feel he may not deserve it right now,you should spoil him a little with a back or body massage,or breackfest in bed,or write I love you on his bathroom mirror,or give him some flower's ! Make him feel special ! It's not just us girl's thet like that kind of attention ! Well anyway, don't give up ! Put on a smile and your new confidence,and you can be sure to get his attention ! And his Love !   I have faith in you !!!

[Michaelccc]

have you guys considered that maybe she is not being nice to him? why else would a guy say be nice. i'm saying this because my ex did the same thing. she was always screaming and putting me down and not trusting me and always starting a fight with me basically destrying my health and youth and any joy in life. i mean flipping out. and then withing a few minutes or hours she wanted hugs and kisses like nothing was wrong and i wouldnt want to hug and kiss and tell a person i love them when just a little while ago they were completely wrecking my nerves. could this be the case with inmajortrouble?

[laura1977]

um have you considered that he is just abusive?  Maybe not physically, but if everytime you fight that he turns it around and blames you for everything, that is mental abuse.  Be careful that he isn't just trying to keep you around and therefore making you feel bad about yourself.  Many people with issues try to do this to their mates.

[mami1323]

You're in a rough spot because you have no friends here.  It sounds to me like he is picking apart the relationship and making excuses.  Are you really sure he wants to be in this relationship?  Things can only get better if both people want to make it work.  Maybe you should see a counselor to talk.  I think if it doesn't work then you should move back home.  You can not put too much emphasis on this man.  You are letting his actions control you emotionally.  Try to focus your attention on something other than him.  Are you working?  Are there people at your job that you can become friends with?  

[inmajortrouble]

me and my boyfriend have been dating 2 years and im from england n moved to the US and i dnt really have any friends, :( he is all i have. i wish things will get better with him how do i stop this ?
like any argument we have he manages to turn it around and make it always my fault. people say i have major depression and stuff and i have sleeping disorders ever sense i moved how can i stop with out too much money being involed

[mami1323]

Fighting is normal unless it's fighting everyday and over stupid things.  It does get tiresome to argue with someone all the time.  Relationships change so he's not going to be the same person he was in the beginning, but it doesn't mean he can't treat you with dignity and respect.  I know it feels like he's your world and that you can't live without him but honey you can.  You were fine before you met him, there isn't any reason why you aren't going to be after him.  No one is worth committing suicide over, especially over a man who doesn't seem to care much.  You need to understand and see your self worth.  If he can't appreciate you, then there will be another man who will.  I remember when my first love broke up with me.  I never thought I would love again and I would sit alone in my room and cry all day.  It took a lot of time for me to get over him but you know what I did move on.  I met other men, some good, some bad but eventually I met my fiance and now we're having a baby.  So as devastated as I was when I lost my first I wound up getting a much better man and getting to know my self worth during that time.  My first always regretted dumping me and at one point wanted me back but by then I didn't want him.  You will be ok.  Talk with your closest girlfriends and have them be there for you when it gets really tough.

[laura1977]

You don't say how old you are, but heres the thing.  Dump him.  If he is giving you an ultimatum regarding your relationship, then tell him to go.  You shouldn't need to put up with this.  Very immature on his part.  Every couple fights, but understand though you guys just may not be right for eachother.  Expecially if you haven't been dating long and you are already fighting like this.

[bip]

If he isnt the right man its always one out there for everyone. He sounds like he is making you unhappy.  Dont be sad I understand you love him so much..  I had relationships like this. They were so sweet and then they started acting like what your boyfriend is doing.  Please dont be sad and I truly understand you love him.  I never tell anyone to break up with there boyfriends.  Look at yourself your crying and unhappy.  Im sure its hard for you.  Take it easy and try to relax.  I hope everything works out for you. Just think do I want to be depress over this man or I want to be happy.

[inmajortrouble]

he says that im too needy, but wen we 1st got together the 1st year was super, he wood say all the lil sweet things and make me feel happy and then all of a sudden he stopped n 6 months later i asked y dnt u say all the lil sweet things anymore and he said "i was young and immature" soo now he dont say i love you much and says all the lil sweet things to make u  feel on top of the world. i have never loved some1 like this before and i cnt stop crying i dnt want to break up with him his my world :( im hurting soo bad

[sara......]

Things seem so bad when you're in the middle of them. I remember being in a bad way and thinking 'I'm never going to get over this guy' but each break up teaches us what sort of person we want to have a relationship with and the qualities we look for in them. I'm now in the best relationship of my life and we are talking marriage and kids one day. I'm sure you don't want to hear this but it sounds like things can only work with this guy if you both make some huge changes. Arguing all the time is destructive, causes anger and anxiety and will make you unhappy. If you are asking him to show you he loves you and he says 'no, only if you're nice' this is controlling, he is saying act in a certain way and you will be rewarded. Then again I don't really know enough about the situation, are you mean to him? What **** do you put up with?

[kittyface]

Hi, I feel your pain but you must realize that the pain of break up is temporary.  There's a better man for you out there, someone who will love you and show you that he loves you.  

You can't be happy with all the fighting that you're doing now.  Maybe you two are not meant to be, but it's a big wide world out there and you can do and have anything you want so go for it!!

Take care,

Kittyface