Game player? Break off all contact?

[TheDude182860]

First of, I want to say thank you for reading my post and offering help. It definitely helps.

This post goes along with my last post. So I won't go into too much detail. I dated a girl for 6 months. Got along great, had fun with her, etc. But, she has a lot of baggage. Been cheated on, failed marriage (not fully divorced either), family issues, etc. Red flags that I didn't take into consideration because I really liked her. We ended things 3 months ago. For the first two months we rarely spoke. We actually went a month without speaking at all. Well, a few weeks ago she started creeping back into my life. Added me on facebook, texting, etc. I was fine with it because I felt I was "over" her. I decided to invite her to my birthday bash coming up and she said she wanted to come but wanted to see how things were gonna turn out. She claimed "you may start dating someone, we may hate each other, we may love each other". I found it weird but didn't think too much of it. Well, the other night she reached out to me asking to see me. We had both been drinking so our judgment was off. She came over and one thing lead to another. She left the next day and everything seemed fine except my feelings for her came back. She asked me what my thoughts were and I made light of it. I cracked a joke about it and said I didn't have any thoughts. The next day she asked me again and I said, If you want to talk about how about we meet for a drink tonight. She declined because of plans but insisted on calling me instead. The phone call basically ended with her saying the reason she came over was because she missed me and wanted to see if there was anything there. She said after she left that she felt the same about me as she did when we stopped dating. That hurt but I didn't tell her. I just said, ok, no worries. She told me to keep in touch. Well, not long after I decided that I needed to rid myself of this girl and forget about her for good. So, I sent her a text saying that I think we should break all contact. I was decent about it and told her I wasn't trying to be disrespectful but I needed to look out for myself and I needed to move on. She understood and said it wasn't her intention to hurt me. That was it. I felt that it was something I needed to do because I know she would get lonely soon and reach out to me. I kind of feel embarrassed that I had to tell some cute, little girl to leave me alone but, I didn't know how else to handle it. This is new to me. My past relationships always ended on my terms. Now the tables have turned and maybe this is my karma. Haha, jk.

Now, my question is....Was it smart for me to cut off all contact with her? Does this really help forget about someone? Also, why did she feel the need to reach out to me again? Is she really confused or just a game player?

P.S. I did learn a lot from dating her. What things to look out for in a partner and not to let myself open up too quickly. So, I will take it as a lesson learned. I should've taken everyone's advice though and let this go the first time.

[Londres70]

Is this woman "Janet" who you mentioned in your other post?

"Was it smart for me to cut off all contact with her? Does this really help forget about someone? Also, why did she feel the need to reach out to me again? Is she really confused or just a game player?"..........Sounds like you did the right thing. I wouldn't call her a "player," however she sounds confused.  She probably reached out to you just to make certain how she felt about you.

[TheDude182860]

You make some good points. Trying to date her was a lot of work and I invested a lot of time and emotions with her because I felt it was worth it. You may be right, she may not be a player. Maybe that's my way of making an excuse of why it didn't work. Hearing that her feelings weren't strong enough was a blow to my ego, again. Yes, relationships should be fun and looking back, it was only fun for the first 2 months. After that, my feelings became stronger and hers went the other way. Thanks for the help.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi also, its easier to have sex with someone you know and is safe vrs going out and having it with a stranger. If this is ok with both of you to have a relationship of convience then its really no big thing. Many relationships are sex based but neither of them know this is the motivating factor.

[specialmom]

Yes, sounds like drama.  And that  you are now and probably always have been more into her than she you.  I don't always fault someone or call them a player for being in that circumstance because when you kind of like someone but they really like you . . . it's hard.  She may be trying to figure out how she feels.  But she is kind of being weird in that process and who needs that?  On the plus side, she is honest with you and gives you what you need to move on.  She's basically said that she doesn't have strong feelings for you.  There is your answer about what to do.  

Yes, break off contact. Yes, you will get over her.  don't be the guy that gets caught up always wanting to work super hard in a relationship.  good luck.  

[TTinKKerBBell]

I think You did the right thing.  This "relationship" sounds like a lot of 'drama' and 'work' to 'figure' each other out.  It's supposed to be more enjoyable - not so question-able.

[TheDude182860]

Thanks for the response and I like your spin on it. "Sometimes you have to go through the bad so you can fully appreciate the good when it comes along".

[ROSYouralright]

Hey, sorry you are going through this but as you said "lesson learned.." It seems you definitely did the right thing. Sometimes you have to go through the bad so you can fully appreciate the good when it comes along!