Really weird question for women

[ggin35]

I  have had a hysterectomy due to PMDD and I have no periods yet I still get really "oversexed" during that time of the month. I am married and love my husband very much but I need a marching band  Or football team to fulfill my needs during this time. I would NEVER cheat on him so I just take care of myself. If you know what I mean. I have an active imagination. The only thing is, it gets tiresome. The only thing that seems to help is white wine. It takes away my sex drive and helps me sleep during this time. My husband thinks I'm an alcoholic but I think white wine just calms my sex nerves. Can anyone relate or am I just a freak? You might tell me to find a man better in bed but believe me, that's not the problem! It's me! I have always been this way. And I love my husband VERY much. I would NEVER cheat on him. Ever! Is there any other solution rather that drinking white wine? Oh and I've already tried antidepressants too. Anything else? If anyone can possibly relate please help me! Thank you!

[MrsMcC]

Absolutely!! I love my husband dearly and have no wish to indulge in threesomes etc  - anyway, I doubt if that would solve my problem. I just want back to the way I used to be ie average libido, able to concentrate on the things that matter (family life, work etc) and free myself from what feels like an uninvited obsession with all things sexual...If this is what blokes feel like,then I have a new sympathy with them! Rock Rose, hope you can help me!

[Jaybay]

Check the date on the original post and discussions.  I think barn babe has left the building.  :-)

[Crystlas]

I just love you!!   I was thinking of saying something along the same lines!  Seriously, barn babe, a lot of people still believe in the sacrament of marriage!!  I would have suggested a good toy, a nice realistic dildo or something, but never cheating!!!!!!!!!

[SeriousSam]

"Take a Lover" "do a threesome"  I know a really good legal forum that specializes in divorces?  If she takes that advise might as well just send her there.

[MrsMcC]

Hi, Rock Rose! Can you tell me any more info about your experiences? It sounds just like me (especially your comment, "at first it was fun, but then hell..." )I experienced a change in my libido (normally fairly average, maybe  a bit lower) about 8 months ago (aged 42) suddenly I was exercising, losing weight, overhauling my wardrobe and generally feeling very aroused all the time: I thought that perhaps this was the last 'hurrah' before I descended into menopause, almost mother nature's way of saying,"you've got one last shot at this procreating game...go out and find a mate..NOW!!" My husband has a high sex drive and is happy with the new me (!) but I find myself fantasising all the time and looking on the opposite sex with new eyes (almost the way I would have done in adolescence when we are on the look-out for a mate). This is starting to affect my life (poor concentration, not the same desire to be involved with my kids etc, ) had my hormone levels checked with my doc, but they were normal. I'm wondering about going on the progesterone only pill - do you have any experience of that? I'm new to this forum and would love a response - think I'm going mad!

[vsentz]

hmmmmm.......i had that same problem with dh some years ago....
I am a hot-freaking-blooded latina that likes to rock the boat baby!! lol......and he is more the conservative kind.......or was....

we moved from the saddening-nasty place we used to live, he got a better job...and VOALA! that did the trick for me (after looking sex counseling! and didn't work...), i think men need to get their confidence boosted too, just like us, and that will make him feel more 'macho'.....(ya know, testosterone....)

Why not, instead of calming you down, you try to give HIM some supplements to boost his libido??? how about talking to his urologist??? trying some triple gingseng supplements??? making love is some serious bonding! and if you are keeping yourself from it just because he doesn't want to.....its kind of frustrating for you i bet!

Try different things to do till you find what turns him on the most!....

like last night, i wasn't even trying, and came out just wearing a little tee and my undies to the bedroom (i was actually letting the medicine dry off a little bit from my lap incisions...).....and boy! it did the trick! lol ;)

[anxiousmomtobe?]

And you can always take matters into your own hands......

Yum.....white wine....great now I have a craving and CANT have wine .....maybe I will drag my hubby away from the hockey game.....

[peekawho]

*looks at wineglass in hand, shrugs, chugs*

[barn babe]

You could talk to your ObG about it, see if hormones would "regulate" your cycles more and the hormonal fluctuations can get more under control.

Did you post this on one of the other forums, like Menopause or something?

I'm in perimenopause myself, and I've noticed that I need sex a little more frequently than I've wanted it in the past, and I do think it's related to hormonal fluctuations. I've always had a pretty strong sexual appetite anyway, but it can really come on with a ferocity since I've been in perimenopause.  But my partner more  than takes care of my needs, so it's not something I want to take drugs to try and control. : )

Does your husband know what's going on with you?  How does he feel about it?

Good luck with whatever works for you.

[RockRose]

gg - I went through what  you are going through for a couple of years,  and it was horrible.  At first it was really fun, and my husband really loved it,  but then it was life in hell.

Men would come up to me in public all the time and hit on me - I know I was just exuding horniness,  although  I still dressed like a PTA mom and acted normally.


It was really awful.  It passed,  thank Goodness,  and you're right,  white wine did the trick.  If you're only drinking that one week of the month,  and less than 3 glasses a night,  I think you're fine and this will pass.

[ggin35]

As much as that advice sounds wonderful, I don't think that would work for us. What I'm really looking for is advice on hormones, etc. that might lower my libido when my cycle comes around. I really love this man and want to be with him always. Nobody else. I don't know why wine seems to help but it does. I wish there were something else that would help besides wine. I really don't think being with another man would do our relationship any good. Thank you though!

[barn babe]

Take a lover. I'm not talking about cheating on him, just letting him know you are a "lot of woman" and want more than what he offers. (I'm sure he's probably figured this out anyway if you've been married for a while.)  

Then everybody's happy - you get the sex, it gives him a break if he doesn't want it that often - it's all good.

The other alternative is to get into some threesomes with him - bring another man or another woman into your relationship. It should spark his interest as well.  Or find another couple to have sex with - not swapping, necessarily, but just having sex together in the same room. (Although the swapping is certainly a possibility, too.)  Again, these are just suggestions to try and keep your husband in "drive" more often.  But only you know his abilities, desires, and frequencies for sex.