Reg Wedding or Justice of Peace

[tabe616]

I recently had a baby and want to get married but my whole family (and his) are fighting about whether or not we should have a wedding or just got to a justice of peace. Now I want to marry him and want a wedding but not sure to do it right away because of the baby or just wait.

[tabe616]

& to make it clear i'm not complaining about her, but my whole family and how they are acting. the main reason i moved out of my mom's house. see to find a better job takes a while. and i live in pittsburgh its hard. i mean you have your part time jobs like wal-mart, target and stores like them. but its all about how much you need to get paid. someone without a degree isnt going to get a job worthwhile. i mean i've applied everywhere and the only job i was able to get was a cashier at target. woo! big money there. my fiance works as a car salesman. and thats not good money unless he makes enough sales in a month. and either one of us getting a second job will be hard, considering the fact we dont want to hire a sitter because we cant find one we trust.

[pertykitty]

since you are unmarried and a mother, have you tried for grants? i got one for being a single mom at the time i went to school. try that. im sorry i do understand how hard it is and how expensive it is. no i dont know everything about you, just what you had wrote which was very vague. thanks for explaining it to me. i still dont get why you have to sleep in seperate rooms though. good luck in life and hope everything works out for you :)

[pertykitty]

you said "with the jobs we have (and im guessing this is what you meant) they way you are living".  does that mean since you have the extra money living with mom, that you go out and blow it on fun? see im seeing a different part to this whole thing. you both need to get responsible. i have another suggestion. why dont one of you go to school so you can get a better job. then the other can do the same. living is expensive these days, and a baby makes it even harder. dont take advantage of his moms generosity (sp) and then complain you dont like her rules. there is so much out there you havent experienced. i dont know where you live but here in expensive california you will pay average $800 for a 2 bedroom apt,(and i dont live in la or san fran), and that might not be in the best neighborhood. daycare for an infant will run you about $700 or more likely more a month. gas is 3.10 a gallon and that is just the beginning. it takes more than a min wage job to have a life that gives you what you want. im not trying to be mean, im just trying to help you out. im sure you will want to give the best you can for your little one. stop being selfish not wanting to go by their rules, when you two CAN get out and get yourselves your own place. my god, my dh works full time in the navy and was working a second job on the weekends as well. sometimes we have to give up our fun time and get real, especially when we bring another life into this world. what you need to do is make a financial plan. figure how much you need to make to live on your own and go from there. sorry but now i am seeing 2 young people who want their cake and eat it too.

[tabe616]

I'm living under his mothers roof and he's paying rent, so dont my morals apply? He moved back in so we could afford stuff for the baby. Full time jobs dont really pay much esp. with the jobs we have and were we are living.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

If you want them to leave you alone, you must act like grownups and get your own place.  You have a child and should be paying your own way.  I am sure your bf is only paying a minimal amount of rent.  As long as you live with parents, you will be thought of as kids.

[Trialanderror]

I did not know you did not have your own place. That changes it. If you live under someone else`s roof, their rules and morals apply - so, as Perty says, the only way out is to move out and on.