Sex, Frustration, Lonliness

[RaeNightingale]

I haven't had sex in over a year and it's starting to really get to me as for a woman I am so highly sexed with a MASSIVE drive. I'm not into sleeping around with just any old person, it has to be in a relationship where there is a solid foundation of trust and love, I dont do one night stands either. I was so in love with my ex, we broke up a year ago. He found someone better than me apparently even though she was a slag and had alredy slept with his mates. It broke me. We had such a connection, when we made love it was so perfect like the whole world stood still and we could freeze that moment of perfectness forever. I miss it now. I miss not having someone to touch and kiss and connect with, it completes me. I am such a loving person and passion is what I live for. I dont have that connection to anyone anymore though and I feel incomplete. I'm only 24, I've only been in 3 relationships and sex was always my way of showing my feelings and love. It's the first thing Sex was the first thing I learned about love as I was abused as a child by my dad until he left. I don't know why I feel like having a man would complete me, I just guess I feel bursting to love someone as I have so much to give and no-one to recieve it. Being in love is the most wonderful feeling and I'm scared I'll never live it again like I'll never be loved again. I want someone to share my life with and grow old with like in soppy movies, but life isn't like that and it makes me sad because I fall for men so easily and I'd be like the women in them soppy movies. I tend to get walked over to be honest, it's like men don't respect me enough to treat me right. I just want someone to love me and connect with me and be mine, entwine as one for the rest of our days. I love that thought, I just can't seem to get close to people anymore. I can't find anyone I fancy or even like the look of. It saddens me, I know it's prob best to not look and just wait for when it happens but I'm just so lonely and having a man in my life makes life ten times better, it's just ten times worse when they decide to walk away which they all have so far. I dont even know why I dont fancy anyone. I am 25 in March and everyone keeps saying to me 'oh thats a quarter of your life gone', i mean, my mum was having me at this age and was alredy married. My younger sister by 3 years is married. Loads of my friends etc are, people at school I knew l have kids. Why am I taking so long to blossom and make a family, be part of someone elses life and settle down. I don't want to be one of them old mothers who had kids at like 40. I wanted to be settled by now, I would have been, me and my ex planned a baby. I've gone from that to nothing. I'm not quite sure how to cope with it. It just feels like a sinking feeling of emptyness in my stomach. Please help.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd also see a counselor.  Looking outside yourself for completion is always a losing game, you need to build your self-fulfillment from within.  Ask the counselor if you can work on why you feel you don't feel complete unless you're getting love from a man, and what you might do to find a completed feeling for yourself.  

[specialmom]

Oh, I'm so sorry you are lonely dear.  I've been lonely before and it hurts.  What you have to remember is this is but a moment in time.  You are actually doing the right thing right now even though it doesn't feel that way.  It is so important to be over a past relationship we still long for before we move on.  Then when you meet someone new that you are attracted to, you can start fresh.

My suggestion is to really delve into yourself.  This is the time to really soar with your career and throw yourself into it (or work or school, etc.).  Explore your hobbies and interests with relish.  Exercise and stay physical.  
Read a lot, expand your mind.  Make and enjoy good friendships.  All of things help you be the best you can be and build your inner sense of well being and peace.  And then when you meet someone, you bring all of that into the relationship which is a 'good' thing to bring!  Much better than left over baggage from past lovers.  

I had a lonely period in which I wondered if I'd ever meet anyone.  Low and behold, I did and am now married  with kids, happily.  So, your time will come and make the most of it before it does.  

Wishing you peace dear.