Sex Problem or Normal?

[passionateone]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and have wonderful sex.  We have what I believe to be a very healthy, satisfying relationship.  My boyfriend is able to keep an erection, though I find when we are having sex he is able to maintain an erection, and at points it will be very hard, but for the most part during sex his erection is semi-soft and I am not sure why.  I know he is capable of having a full erection, and even when is semi-soft we are still able to have sex.  I was wondering what it is that might be causing him to lose some of his stiffness during sex and if there was anything I could do to help.  I know that he masturbates daily and sometimes multiple times a day and was also wondering if that has anything to do with his loss of complete hardness.  Also, he has told me that he is unable to even get fully hard unless he is with me, as well, he is unable to ejaculate from oral sex... is there anything I can do to deal with these things or are they all normal?

[danyaile]

i agree with soror about the hole oral sex part, you should try stroking it for him while your mouth is on there. if you grow tired from just bobbing your head anyway, that's what i do when my guy is taking to damn long and i want to hurry him up.

[Soror]

For the most part, what he's describing is normal.  Erections do vary depending on the day, mood, point during sex, etc.  It just happens like that - it's nothing that you did, so if you are (like I once did) wondering if it's your fault somehow, I assure you, it isn't.

Masturbation will not effect his performance, aside from potentially giving him more staying power during sex if he has masturbated/ejaculated recently.

Being unable to ejaculate from oral sex is tricky, because the truth is that he probably can, he's just nervous or anxious about it, or the timing is off.  Remember that consistent, repetitive motion is what helps an orgasm with both males and females, so if you are unable to continue a consistent rhythm for long enough to bring him to orgasm (and no one will fault your for that, giving oral sex can be hard damned work), he might -think- he can't do it.

My advice is to give him oral sex anyway and eventually he'll be relaxed enough to orgasm/ejaculate.  Don't talk to him about it, that will only make him more nervous, just gradually warm him up to it and make it more normal.

But - this is just my opinion.