why am i acting like this?

[confused1031]

hello! i need some advice on why i am acting so mean towards my boyfriend. During this past weekend a friend of both of ours (shes another female) stayed at our house because she has no where to go until tonight, shes going thru alot right now so i wanted to be a good friend and let her stay. The only problem is this same girl and i used to be like basically enemies because before me and my boyfriend got together they were "talking" and it was "rumored" that they were possibly having sex. Both of them deny it and stopped talking even months before me and my boyfriend got together.But anyways things have completely did a 360 and now my boyfriend is all about me and it so good to me and very sweet and my friend and me have come a long way too and now we are pretty close. Well today was the first day i left them alone because i have to go to work in the morning and when i called it seemed to me like my boyfriend didn't wanna be on the phone with me so i asked what his problem was and he started yelling at me so i hung up. I feel like maybe he might have been doing this just to show off or something. He claims he isn't acting any differently and tried to call me back to be nice to me and ask if i was hungry and if i wanted them to bring me lunch... i can't help but be bitter about the situation because of all the hurt i was caused by them two in the past. I thought them being alone wouldn't bother me but it obviously has...i don't want to be childish and i do trust both of them i don't think its necessrily a trust issue i dont know why but now i am like stuck in this mode to have an attitude with my boyfriend.. maybe its just pms but help!!

[fireCrotch]

if you didn't like the ***** you should've never let her stay in your house because you DON'T trust her! If you did you wouldn't be typing this ****! You should never ever have to deal with that **** in your own spot! And you shouldn't even be her friend or be with him if they both hurt you in the past or whatever!

[slow_healer]

Keeping having faith in yourself and your ability to assess these situations. I'm happy for you that it turned out so well! :)

[confused1031]

Thanks for your replies :) My friend is gone and i had a talk with my boyfriend who understands what i am saying but he feels that she is just a friend and that yes when he first met her he was trying to pursue more but when he learned more about her and she told him all of her business and how "promiscuous"(sp) she was he said he didnt want anything to do with her and she became just a friend... then he re assured me that he only wants to be with me and if he wanted to be with her he would have been a long time ago.. it made me feel better but i don't think i was wrong for being concerned, but i'm sure i will need more advice in the future as it always seems to work out that way for me lol thanks again!! :)

[mami1323]

Do not ever let another female stay in your house.  I know it sounds harsh but allowing another woman to be in such close proximaty to your man is just asking for trouble.  Especially if they have had a past together.  Didn't you ever watch Jerry Springer...lol?  No but seriously, leaving them alone to get close is not a good situation.  They become friends, they start talking about you, about the relationship, all of a sudden this female knows more and more about you and the problems you're having in the relationship.  He gets an ear to tell all of his problems to, she becomes supportive towards him, and an innocent little friendship blossoms into so much more.  All of sudden, they develop feelings for eachother.  I'm not saying that this is going to happen but it's something that you need to keep in mind.  If your gut is telling you that the situation isn't right than listen to it.  Don't worry about hurting your friend's feelings, tell her that you don't like her being alone with your man.  If she doesn't like it well too bad.  If she's your real friend than she wouldn't want to jeopardize the friendship by making you uncomfortable.

[slow_healer]

Good point mami. Given their history together and the unusually close proximity, this is what we call a "high risk situation". Were something to happen, it would be so ridiculously predictable. Lay your foot down, confused. And tell your partner to grow up - yelling never solves anything (especially over something so little so start with).

[PlateletGal]

I agree with slow healer. Hey... it is your house and you decide who can stay there and who can't. Always trust your gut feeling.... always.

[slow_healer]

That sounds difficult, especially having suspicions about them in the past.

If I were you, I would tell your partner how you're feeling and that this situation simply isn't working out for you. If you are his first priority, then he'll clear it up or reach a compromise. As far as your friend goes, tell her the same thing (situation makes you uncomfortable). It's a temporary situation and you've fulfilled your obligation to support her. Don't accept excuses.