Still feelings there??

[nichole131]

My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me on new years eve. We still talk from time to time and hang out once in a while. When we hang out we do end up having sex. When we do he acts like he did when we were together. And after he acts as if we are dating and everything. He told me that the reason he broke up with me was because he did not have any more love for me. One of his good friends, who so happens to be one of my ex's, told me that he had cheated on me. He tells me that he cares for me still as friends and when we hang out we hang like friends but we are constantly flirting with each other. Then have sex. Is it possible that there are still feelings there, or is it just something that we do for sexual pleasure. Can you give you opinions?

[AnnieBrooke]

I think he's just in it for the easy access to sex.  Easy enough to test this theory -- stop hanging out with him and see if he misses you and asks if you want to have a complete relationship again, or if he just shrugs and moves on.

[cheshchesh819]

It sounds like you are just being used for sex,if he doesnt want a relationship with you then stop the sexual favours,maybe you should stop seeing him for a while so you can get over him,it is obvious that you are still in love with him and for that he is taking advantage of the situation.

[thehitman357]

Ok, I am a guy so here it goes.  He is just using you for sex.  Like AnnieBrooke said, test the theory.  Go to his place and hang out. Don't have sex and don't kiss him.  See the way he acts towards you.  The problem is that you will end up having sex with him anyways so the theory will not work.  I see it with female friends all the time and their ex boyfriends.  The bottom line is he is using you for sex and that is all it is.  If you like this, more power to you.  If you don't, stop having sex with him.  That is bull that he still cares for you as a friend, but wow, has sex with you just as friends.  If this is the case, he should be your boyfriend and not just a friend.  This is way of getting sex from you and being able to see other women.  The only thing he will say is that you guys were not together, just friends, when he leaves you for good for someone else.  It's called "The Game." Good luck.

[specialmom]

Ugh.  I'm sorry as you say you still feel for him.  And I hate those holiday break ups . . .  so you'll always remember the date they did it, right?  Ugh.  Anyway, he does sound like he is being clear that he thinks of you as a friend now . . . just a friend with benefits.  I'd save yourself anymore heartache and cut off ties.  You deserve better than being a booty call.  He most likely does care for you but he has the option of being with others now and you when convenient.  You don't need that.  Take a break from dating and then start again later with a clear head.  Go spend time with friends (without benefits), family and do the things you enjoy.  Stay busy.  Again, sorry he hurt you.  Peace.

[nichole131]

Thanks, I need a guys point of view. He has been calling me to go over to his place after my classes and I have to go study. He gets all butt hurt. But I will try just hanging out with him, with out having sex. I will make sure we are in a group when we hang out and just test that out.

[nichole131]

Holiday break ups aren't great at all but out of that night, I made a lot of wonderful memories hanging out with the people that love me and were cheering me up. I'll stop talking to him for a while. just like thehitman357 said, its "The Game" he is playing with me, and I don't want to be a pawn in it any more.
Thank you guys for your opinions, I needed to hear it from other people than the ones that love me. They all hated him so they were glad to see us split.

[cherryshme]

Take it from me, run for the hills! I was in the exact same situation you are and it didn't turn out well. pardon my frankness but this guy is just using you. I dated someone and we broke up and he said he wanted to be "friends" but we still had sex. When I was around him he would flirt with me and do boyfriend behavior but whenever he would fall short (i.e. not coming when he said he would, disappearing for days, not calling, etc.) he would use the "we're not together" card. I went through this with him on and off for YEARS. And he never made the commitment. It was always one excuse after the other but he was always willing to have sex. I finally called it quits for good and never looked back. At the end of the day he's going to be who he is but it's up to you to know you deserve so much better than this guy. Trust me on this one.

[Priscilla71]

he sounds pretty much like this dude wants his cake and to eat it too....alot of guys are like that, but you seem to be a very nice person and dont fall in to this pattern....
he will think that everytime he sees you -- u will give some...
that is a huge----RED FLAG!!!
keep your head up --and move on sister.....