The Best For Baby

[Ana_Chouza]

I'm going through some really hard times right now,, i just need advice from you ladies on what i should do because i am comoletely lost! This has nothing to do with my pregnancy this is more on the personal side. So me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year nd a half, lately i found out that he had been cheating on me with his ex girlfriend and i know because she met up with me and showed me recent txt messages and photos they had taken together,, i confronted him and he admited to everything,, i decided to forgive him because of the baby on the way and also because i am 16 still in school and terrified of having to do everything alone,, i decided to give him a second chance,, but he has been getting really controlling to the point where i cant go on my social media sites anymore,, he is verbally offensive towards me and i am afraid this will turn into a physical problem,, i know the healthiest thing would be to let go,, what do you ladies think?

[Nighthawk61]

You are both very young and as such, unwise. As a mom, it's time for you, at least, to wise up. Don't enable the father of your baby to continue acting out as he is. Put an end to it. Tell him he needs to grow up, fast.

Then, make your journey about you, and what you need to do for you. You have chosen to have a child out of wedlock, and it's going to be hard but you can overcome the hardships, and put yourself in the position to be a valuable person to someone else, if you truly put the work in.

First things first, you need to stop making this about you, and concentrate your every effort for the good of the baby. If it's not good for the baby, don't waste your time. You need to work very hard in school, and find a career that you can support your child. Get excited. In the end, it is this kind of success that will give you happiness. I'm not saying that a man in the picture will not be a high priority for you, but now is not the time. You blew that by getting involved with someone too young and unwise to deal with. Put that part of your life on hold, but don't worry, because there will come a day that it is right for you to start looking for the right young man to become your partner. You need to have expectations of what type of man that you need, and you need to mirror those expectations in what you will have to offer them. You see? You have enough to worry about , getting this child a proper role model in a dad. You don't have time to waste on someone who is not there yet. Be kind and find it in your heart to wish him the best. The really sad thing about this, is that you won't have a choice but to let this man have access to your child, whether he is responsible enough or not. That's a scary unkown. If he can be so heartless, and unbalanced with you, how will he care for this child.? You have to be more careful in the future before you give that kind of power to the unknown with your child. Maybe you could some how arrange to talk to a mediator, so that you and this young man can attempt to co parent? I believe there may be a government agency that does that sort of thing? What do you think about that?  

[Ana_Chouza]

U ladies are right! And i deff dont want my child to grow up in that environment and think this kind of treatment is okay because its not

[lilbitts]

A lot of time men's guilt make them insecure he may know you can do so much better so he reacted that way but that's no excuse you are young baby or not you don't deserve it is that the environment you want your child in? Get out while you can hun

[theawesomejuju]

Leave it only gets worse your still young don't be like my aunt and be in an abusive relationship that means absolutely nothing to the other person and be 40 years old waster 20 years with this man and then won't leave due to feeling you can't live without him. You don't need a man to make you happy nor do you need a scum bag to bring you donw.. take my advice and leave now while you can while it's early and while your young go to school college and do what's best for your baby and you there are better MEN in this world.. there's enough scumbag bags.. seems like your smart and mature for 16. You know what you have to do so do it. Take care girl

[BentlysMommy1]

I was with my baby's father for a year and he cheated on me the whole time....my advice is to leave.

[Jessmanny72113]

You need to let him go I was in a relationship like that expect being pregnant and it did get violent.

[Ana_Chouza]

You're right! Idk why i put up with it this long

[Marieemichelle]

Oh f u c k that s h i t ! Sorry for my potty mouth . But wtf , girl do not put up with that bs. Let his ex girl put up with it . If you have family support then you can deffently do it on your own. You don't need to be dealing with that stuff.
You're young & deserve something better for baby & yourself of course .
I would've left him the moment I found out he was cheating , smh

[Ana_Chouza]

I dont fully trust him now and im sure its not going to get better!

[kthomp14]

Get out now. If you don't then he's going to be a constant heartache in your life. He'll always be bringing you down not to mention you probably won't be able to fully trust him. Go get yourself someone better.

[Ana_Chouza]

That exactly what i find myself doing,, making Excuses for him

[Ana_Chouza]

I talked to my mom about it and she said my future was just going to transform into what you just said if i stay with him,, thank you for sharing :)

[Rose1993W]

Get out now!! No woman or child should be in an unstable relationship/family. He will cheat again, they always do. The minute they turn violent or say it's an accident they will not let you go and you will be stuck there making excuses to friends and family because he's the dad of your baby. I've seen it happen before and it's not nice. Do the right thing x

[Tamara1030]

I think it's best of you let go my friend just went through this whith a guyshe had been with for 13years and like you she jad het first child when she was 15 he had alrdy cheated on her with his ex she stsyed with him got 6 wounderful kids out of their relationship but thats about all the good that came out of that.he was physically and mentally abusive to her and still is even after she has left him he has cheated on her throughout the whole relationship tryed with a family member and kept her away from other opportunities to better herself  she is doing alot better now but still has little self confidence and doubt herself. When she has no reason to cuz she is the most beautiful and wounderful woman i know

[Ana_Chouza]

Thank you ladies :)

[babyberry000]

I think you are way to young to have to be in an abusive relationship. You don't know it yet but life is not supposed to be that hard.
I understand you want a family unit but unless he changes it wont be a healthy functioning family.
I will not tell you to leave him or tell you to stay with him, but you sound smart and you need to do what you know is best for your baby.
And what's best for you.
If your are set on trying to make it work, there is always counseling and couples therapy. I personally believe people can change.
But if you are set on leaving then you can do what your gut tells you.
I hope every thing works out!!
Take care of you & baby

[alexx1216]

Let his *** go back to the ex let her deal with it. Don't put up with any of it, you don't deserve anymore stress or pain on top of him cheating,  you can do this, specially with the support of your friends & family. Goodluckk mama