pregnant and confused

[aishagif]

Okay Im 17 years old and 26 weeks pregnant to my 19 year old boyfriend that i have been with almost a year...recently i found out that when ee first got together he had told anoyher girl he liked her and when i brung it up he just abused me and told me its over. Recently i feel that we havent been the same. I was living eith him and his mother and had to move out because his mother was makong it very hard for us. I found out i was pregnant and told her but she still hates. E. My bf seems to bbs scared to tell his mum to leave me alone or lay off. He was raped as a child by a make and I feel that this may be the reason as to why they both are being unreasonable?? But I don't know

[specialmom]

Well, then get your plans together for worst case scenario.  Picture being on your own without your boyfriend----------  where are you going to live, how are you going to go to school or work with the baby, who is going to watch the baby, how you are going to pay for baby needs such as diapers, clothes, crib, etc.  All of the things that every mother has to figure out before a baby arrives.  I know when I had my two children, I planned and planned in order to be prepared for the major changes in my life that were coming and to make a stable life for my child.  So, I don't say this to discourage you from keeping your baby but to encourage you.  Encourage you to plan accordingly and unfortunately, counting on others such as a boyfriend and his mother that aren't all that great and dependable really doesn't work out for a lot of women.  You'll have to think of how you'd handle this without them.  And then anything you get from them is bonus.  Be prepared to sue for paternity and child support at some point.  But his child support is based on how much money he makes and I'm guessing this isn't going to be a lot.  Most women I know complain that they barely get anything in child support to help with their kids.  

It's hard, but you just have to be prepared.  If your parents are just as bad as his, choose your own because they aren't going anywhere.  Move back and try to get them to help you. good luck

[aishagif]

I would never consider adoption...this is our kid and weather he is there ornot.  I know i can do this so that isnt the problem...my bd npt helping is.

[specialmom]

I think that at this point you must think realistically about the situation dear.  It sounds like you have zero support on either side and as a young person of 17, this is going to be really hard.  Is adoption something you'd consider?  that sometimes can be a really beautiful option when our situation is so difficult for raising and taking care of a baby.  And it helps out a family that is having trouble having a child on their own.  They have open adoptions these days as well.  Would this be something would be an option for you or something you would think about?  I just worry that you have a lot ahead of you being basically pregnant and alone and so young.  

[lukymum84]

Hi hun i am also 26wks pregnant and its stressful when u feel isolated, pregnancy puts alot of stresses on even the strongest relationships, is this your partners first child?  
I can only suggest being honest with him about how u feel and i hope he comes round to trying to make it work between u both. If u would every like to chat about pregnancy or just get the day to day stresses of life off ur chest plz feel free to msg me , best of luck hun x

[aishagif]

I am living with my parents but they are just as bad.

[Kayannaboo]

Sounds like a really harsh environment for you to be living in dear. I would suggest that you try to find another place, a safer place for you and your baby to live in. Its too much for you and at 17, you need more protection that you have been getting. Where is your parents? I take it the relationship is estranged since you are not living with them. Is it fixable?

If there is any one else that is willing to be there for you and provide shelter, you should consider that option. Your boyfriend and his mother seems to suffering from a traumatized past and they each have internal issues to work on. Until they do, unfortunately they will continue to be angry and hateful. In the meantime, I wouldn't suggest that subject yourself to that kind of living and life. Also, its not the kind of life you want your child to grow up seeing. Kids emulate, some do form their own identity but their first reactions are based on their interactions at home. Therefore, most of what they see from a early age, become long standing into their adult lives. Even when they're grown and they believe they are different from their parents, they still have many attributes. This based on what is introduced to them.

Please run. You will be miserable and who needs misery during their pregnancy? If you haven't done so, join the pregnancy forums on this site and get all the help and support you need.

Take care!

Anna

[specialmom]

Oh goodness.  Are your parents in the picture???