Will I ever feel secure and happy?

[Elephant91]

Hi Im 19 yr old female I have been in a very loving relationship for almost two years now. We  know that we want to get married in the future. I used to be very depressed and was a cutter before we got serious and I was doing a lot better for a while but recently I have been feeling increasingly angry more often and it feels very intense when that mood hits me. I get very sad and feel that if my bf was with me 24/7 I'd be happier. We do hang out alot but like five hours after we hang out I miss him so much and feel very unmotivated and down. That feeling then turns into anger that I can't see him. Could I be feeling down because I am not employed and do not have a car plus haven't done anything since I graduated a yr ago. Will I be happy once I have a car and job?

[Elephant91]

I meant that I felt like she had no answers for me sry..

[Elephant91]

I have gone the rout of seeing a therapist twice..one said nothing and felt like she had no answers for me and the other one didn't work out because I decided To move back to my home and just tough it out. I really want to just get over everything on my own so I feel strong. I know I just need a job then I can work on getting a car and drive myself to church which always makes me feel great and the career I have in mind is doing hair because I'm really really good at it and its the only talent I have that I could suceded in and love my job everyday! I have already did my fafsa and found my dream college too. It's just the job thing I need to get on.

[perch101]

It makes me think of the 'chicken and egg' thing - are you depressed because you have no job or car or motivation - or do you have no job/car/motivation because you are depressed. Who knows.....!

As RR asked - do you have any job prospects? Do you have any idea of a career you'd be intrested in? You could go to University (thats what we call it here - I think you call it colledge? I could have that wrong lol).

Even if you don't know what career you want to do yet - any job in the interim will help get you out of this rut and bring some money in to save for a car.... but I still think you should see your doctor to have a chat how you're feeling in case it's clinical......

Good luck!

[RockRose]

Do you have any prospects of getting a car and a job?  Sitting around doing nothing for a year will put you into a deep depression.  

[Elephant91]

Wow perch 101 thank you so much for your advice(:

[perch101]

Hi Elephant, have you ever seen a professional about possibly being clinically depressed? If not, it would be a good idea to see someone to be assessed. I saw your other post too where you describe always feeling depressed and angry.

No - having a car, a job or seeing your boyfriend 24/7 will not make you happy. It may make you temporarily happier for a little while, but happiness comes from within. You need to find out what is making you depressed and angry, and then address those issues - otherwiese unfortunatley - they will always eventually come to the surfac and affect your life negitively.

Also, a relationship where you have to spend 24/7 together - and if you don't you become angry - is not healthy and cannot last long term. It is too much pressure. You need to have a healthy balance where you enjoy spending time with your boyfriend - but are also able to enjoy time apart - you with your friends and/or doing things you enjoy and same for him.

I do feel you would benefit in seeing a doctor and getting assessed - the feelings you describe - being depressed, angry and unmotivated could all be something like a clinical depression, and or/ a hormonal or seretonin imbalance which could be treated. The cutting in your past could have been a symptom of this too.

Best wishes.