Was I sexually abused?

[paranoid2007]

For years I have had the feeling that I was sexually abused as a child.  I cannot recall anything happening to me during my childhood, but the feeling has stuck with me for years.

The first time I was penetrated, I think I was 15, but it's like I didn't feel anything.  I did not bleed, I cannot recall feeling any pain.  As far as I can remember, this guy didn't have a problem penetrating me (a much older guy than I was).  

For years I have tried to make sense of what happened that day.  I cannot remember things that occur during my early childhood (I guess most of us canont).

[NathansMommy]

Yes, my father is still a part of my life.....But, we are not very close....to my father or my mother.....

[NathansMommy]

I am now 32 and I have every intention of checking it out. I just cannot afford to speak to a psychiatrist just now.  But, I am working on it, too many things have happened in my life and I need answers.

[Jaybay]

Just because you didn't bleed or feel pain when you lost your virginity does not mean you were sexually abused at an earlier point in your life.  Some women don't!  

If you can't get these thoughts out of your mind, why not try talking to a psychologist?  There's absolutely no shame in running things by an objective person.  :-)