Relationships Community
Were to start?
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Were to start?

Ive been Dating this guy for 5 years we both cheated and broken up a couple of time. when we are together is 50% nice but 50% fighting over little stuff, I cant live with him but  I really cant leave with out him he is there when i need him the most. parents and him do not get along so well and that kinda of ***** he has asked me to marry him but i am afraid to tell them because I want a happy YEAH your getting married not a why? when i tell them. Not sure what to do? guessing i am asking is how do you know there the right person? and if I should just tell my family i am marrying him so he is not hurt even though i don't get that moment i dreamed about when i tell them. or maybe he is not the person.
4 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there and welcome to the Relationships forum.  Well, in all honesty, to me, it sounds like this relationship has actually run its course.  Fifty percent happy just isn't enough in my opinion to make a relationship last long term.  

No one can tell you what to do as this is your life but I can tell you that marriage is really hard work under the best of circumstances.  Going into it with a lot of baggage and serious and warrented doubt is  probably not a strong foundation.

What are you afraid of?  Are you afraid to be without a man?  I always encourage a woman to be on her own for a while when that is a case. Prove it to yourself that you don't need a man in your life.  You can be strong and fulfilled without a romantic partner.  This is an important lesson to teach yourself, an important part of life----  and once you know that---  you are in a MUCH better position to make a good choice in a partner.  When you have to be with someone (in an almost desperate way which includes going straight from one man to another)---  you wind up with a relationship that is only 50 percent happy/good.  

Don't worry about 'hurting someone's feelings' if you need time to consider marrying someone that you have many issues with.  That is too big of a decision to just go through the motions on.  

but I personally would try to find someone I had better odds to go the distance with .  good luck dear
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I agree with SpecialMom.
I would also say You sound very confused as in "I can't live with Him, I can't live without Him", "50% good, 5% bad", "should I or shouldn't I?".  One should NEVER marry when there is so much indecisiveness, so much doubt.
Good Luck.
Blank
1268057_tn?1399131913
"Not sure what to do? guessing i am asking is how do you know there the right person?"   Hon, you have actually answered your own question as you state  "when we are together is 50% nice but 50% fighting over little stuff, I cant live with him..."  

How in the world will you be able to marry him if you CAN'T live with him? And you definitely don't marry a man so not to "hurt" his feelings.  

Definitely agree with the above posters.....this relationship is totally DONE as you both are arguing 50% of the time over SMALL things.  

DON'T MARRY HIM as you will hurt yourself in the long run.  
Blank
3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi Vixxe,
From what you posted it appears that neither of you are fully satisfied with eachother. Your getting back together only as an option. Youve both played the field and are always drawn back to eachother. Both of you dated other people and were not satisfied with them either.
Both of you have accepted that your better than the other people to be with.

In a way this could work. Both of you did not really know what you wanted in a mate and experimented and both came to the conclusion that the two of you have what you are looking for.
I think the marriage will work. Nothing wrong with shopping around.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
3149845_tn?1386354841
Blank
Life360
fort lauderdale, FL
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
1268057_tn?1399131913
Blank
Londres70
France
3060903_tn?1398568723
Blank
Nighthawk61
Other