ex?

[feelingblue100]

My ex and I split up 14 months ago and I really miss him. He has a new partner and says he is happy and it is working, but we still speak occasionally and he always end up saying he thought I was the one, but the timing just didn't work out with our schedules and work. We ended up holding hands and kissing a bit and he might be coming out with me next weekend to a work event. I really want him to leave his ex for me but how can I make him? He can't bring himself to say he dumped me when we both know that was what happened and always tells me how attractive and sexy he finds me. Why is life so confusing? He has told me that if him and I were together he wouldn't see her again so I just want him to come back. Any suggestions for me please?
Thanks

[feelingblue100]

Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. Hopefully he'll make the call that works out.

[specialmom]

Ya know, it is really hard to say.  I think, in all honesty, the best thing to do is tell him that you are still interested in pursing things as a couple but that he would have to be a free man.  Then he has to make the choice.  

I agree that he sounds like his current girlfriend is not an important relationship to him and that he still has feelings for you.  I hope so as that sounds like what you really want.

So let him know where you stand and see what he does.  That will be the answer you need to whether he is  playing you or not.  good luck

[feelingblue100]

Thank you for your comments. We both knew that at the time breaking up was the right thing. I am a doctor so work 2 in 4 weekends, he travels a lot with business so we just couldn't get the time we wanted and ended up real frustrated. Not sure how they met, but if he has truly moved on why meet up with me, buy me dinner, drinks, golf etc. He even took me out and chatted to a work colleague who must have thought something odd despite his partner working in his industry. Surely he wouldn't do that if he didn't care. I said wouldn't he die if someone came in who knows her and he said, not really, he doesn't worry about being seen with me. I reckon he'd hurt to lose her but deep down wants the wimps way out and for her to know. We were messing about and he said he wouldn't be able to come to any wedding I may have in the future as it would hurt him too bad. Am I deluding myself and is he really a player who will be happy hopping about and taking a chance. In his shoes, I wouldn't be buying him dinner!!!

[specialmom]

I'm sorry you are lonely and the holidays tend to make that worse.  You broke up.  Hm.  Why?  Just work schedules?  That doesn't sound like much of an excuse to be honest.

Do you think he started dating her while still with you?  Or possibly someone else?  I wonder as he is doing things behind his current girlfriend's back, could he have done that to you?

Anyway, you can not make someone leave their girlfriend.  If he desires to do so he can and will.  He broke up with you over work schedules, right?  So he is capable of ending it with someone and if he chooses not to------------  you have your answer.  

I would not do things with him anymore unless he does break up.  You can tell him that you'd like to get back together but he has to be free to do so.  And then he'll either do it or not.  If it is a not, you absolutely have to move on rather than carry on a secret thing.  That is yucky and you'll feel rotten doing it.  If he does leave his current girlfriend, then you can get back together feeling good that he made a decision about things and chose to be with you.  

good luck

[teko]

If he will cheat with you he will cheat on you. Keep that in mind. If he is honorable in his intentions he will break with her first and not sneak around like he has something to hide. And that goes for you as well. Nothing wrong with getting back together, just dont hurt others in the process.