My husbands makes his families problems our problems

[karenwoods]

My husband is a nice guy very helpful, likes to be "the savior", hard worker, loyal, dedicated. Great husband  to me when he is not stressed or depressed about his family. My husband takes his feelings out on me when he is unhappy about something. For Thanksgiving we were supposed to go to friends house and we didn't go anywhere I cooked the and prepared but the whole day was ruined. I know his mom called him the day before with a guilt trip. I saw her call in his cell phone. She makes him think she is struggling for money when she is not. My mom lives in the same town as his mom. My mom said my husband's mom invited her and a lot of other people to dinner. Mean while she makes my husband think she couldn't afford to buy food for Thansgiving. (She has a husband and a boyfriend)
        His mother is "foot loose" and care free, from relationship to relationship and always chooses the job less, young marijuana head. My husband is the oldest of her four boys and she puts a heavy burden on him to serve as a father to his younger brothers 27,19 and 18. My husband is 29. From the begining of our relationship we got a 1 bedroom apartment together and she sent one of his brothers to live with us. Said he was not doing anything with his life so wanted my husband to straighten him out. Since then she is always moving someone in on us.
We have been together now 8 years, married 3 years and his mom is becoming more over bearing every year. She looks for men to support her and brags about all the things she can get. Gold Digger.  My husband over heard her bragging about her man friend filling her gas tank and told her if she needs anything to call him instead. She has been calling us for money every month. Last month I told her she is causing problems in our relationship and needs to be more considerate that we have a life to live as well. We have no children yet, and I sense that she feels that we have money to throw away. I told her taht we live very simple and planned not to have any children til we are financially ready.
She told the family I cursed her out and is going around telling people that our marriage is over. How do I handle this. My husband feels that I am the problem and hve a bad attitude. We are happy when his family stays out of our life.  What do I do. I am am getting tired of dealing with this.
      I am considering starting over. It doesn't seem like it will ever change. If we have children I wouldn't want them  go around his family they are total opposite of us they, drink , smoke and very ignorant

[treazzure007]

oh my goodness.  this sounds sooooo much like my in-laws situation.  i'll send you a personal message --treazzure007

[Luckejem]

I know exactly how you feel as I am kinda going through the same thing. I did sit my husband down and explained him, very nicely... how I felt. His mother wants to move from AZ to live with us, and it's totally imposssible in a one bedroom apt. She is also very selfish, everything is all about her and is always very needy even though she is capable of doing everything herself. Anyway, we talked and advised him he needed to talk to her. He did, and she became very upset, but she then got over it. Your husband needs to take a look from the outside, try to see what   it does to your relationship, as it could slowly destroy the realtionship. Good luck and be well.

[SeriousSam]

HE needs to draw some lines but your in a bad spot because almost anything you do is going to put you as the bad guy.