father of my baby questions if I am the one

[Rena0111]

I was with the father of my baby for 5 years we argued alot & I was very negative to him and I didnt tell him how amazing he was to me. He is talking to another girl now.. I asked him if we could get back together he said no I stopped talking to him a a week and he started asking his mom if she had talked to me... I broke down and texted him and asked him if he was happier without me he didnt respond later he told me he wanted to say he didnt know. We had a heart to heart nd I asked him to take me back he said he couldn't do that to the girl he is talking to but that he never said the door to us getting back together was closed.. he also said that all he cares about is that I am in his life and he started to cry.. I dont know weather or not to keep trying or what to do.

[specialmom]

You've gotten really good advice from everyone here.  I think you are making a wise decision hon.  Hang in there.  peace

[Rena0111]

Thank you all very much. .. his mom and others are very surprised with how he is acting because it is out of his character.  I am taking a step back and not talking to him right now.  

[MYoungAtHeart]

Watch out when men cry.  During serious discussions, a mans tears usually makes a woman all mushy and romantic, thinking " yes, see he is sorry about hurting me" when in fact, men cry when they get caught and when they cannot tell you exactly what is playing out in their minds and lives because you probably be very very angry with what this man is really doing..

I do hope that you and your child are getting monetary support from this man.  Or does he cry also when this subject is brought up??

Good luck to you

M

[Londres70]

Ditto SM and Chima.

All the best.

[UnsureMS]

I agree with special mom. What I want to add is it sounds like this guy needs to just have sometime. I don't think he is wanting to hurt you. Maybe he isn't really trying to put you on the back burner either. He just needs time and I hate to say it but to see what else is out there. So give him time, and you take time for yourself and your child. Step back from asking to get back together and things like that cause as special mom said he probably isn't being honest the other girl. The other girl probably feels you are the one trying to get back together. She doesn't know what he is acting like.

I know you probably don't care about her but backing off gives your baby's dad the chance to see what he is missing out on. When and if you do give a relationship another chance. Make sure he is truly letting go of all other woman. Let him know you want to be the only one for him at that time. But for now enjoy life and let it take its course.

One more thing dont feel heart broken if it was truly meant to be it will find away. If it wasn't another guy is out there for you. May God be with you...

[specialmom]

Ugh, I agree with chima.  that is a difficult position to be in.  And he does sound like he is hanging onto a connection with you 'in case' other things don't work out or as a side thing.  We see posts here all the time saying things like "my fiancé's baby mama won't leave him alone" and I often do wonder if this isn't why.  They feed just enough to their ex to keep them hoping and in the picture.  

What I would do is move your child to the forefront.  Think of them only.  If you talk to him, talk only about your child.  Then take some time off from this situation.  Basically, I understand you really want him but you've romanticized him into prince charming now when you two were together, it wasn't a fairy tale.  I get that you did wrong in the relationship but it takes two.  I'm sure he contributed to the problems.  You're just tuning that out right now because you're fixated on getting him back.  

It's probably not going to happen right now.  don't be the other woman or the person that is hanging around 'just in case'.  Move on ---  do NOT date.  Just be with your child and build your life.  And time will tell what will happen.  

good luck

[Chima7]

It sounds like it just wasn't working for you two. It's possible he's just keeping you on the back burner in case this other girl doesn't work out. So far he's made it pretty clear that he doesn't want a relationship with you right now. Whether or not you want to put your whole life on hold waiting for him, which is no guarantee that he will say yes, you'll have to decide. But I think you're better off just leaving him be and concentrating on your own life. To stand still and do nothing for yourself would be foolish because you don't know how long or if he will ever want to come back to you. At least if you start doing things to better your own life you'll have done some positive things for yourself in the meantime. You never know, after a while you may even decide that you don't want him or need him back as much as you thought you did after spending some time rediscovering yourself.