What next with my girlfriend?

[Ratnip]

I am veryyyy sorry for this novel but here it is:
Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for almost 10 months now, I am 17 and she is 18. She is my first love and first time and all that and obviously very special to me.
Sadly though we are not getting along mainly due to me becoming irritated with a lot if what she says! This has always been a minor problem but used to be balanced out better with redeeming features of our relationship.
I am depressed and have mild anxiety and have lost almost every friend and other than some I am quickly loosing closeness with and due to certain circumstances this can't really change...
I can never bring myself to end things because if I feel if I was in the right mental state our relationship would be different but I am not sure. She's helped me through every single thing and always listened when others would of got fed up. She is the kind of girl people very rarely find, extremely quirky and funny.
Thing is I'm just not happy anymore but I don't know if this is just a stage and I really want to know how to change some elements of myself but I dunno how. We always slip back into the same old rubbish routine of arguing.I'm sure it sounds like a immature teenage relationship but I'm closer to her than my family sadly and we're always around each other and she's quickly becoming one of the few important things left, and advice from any angle on the whole situation would be appreciated and I'm very sorry for wasting your valuable time! Thanks :)

[Londres70]

Take a break from each other and then evaluate how you feel.

I just think @17 relationships shouldn't be so hot and heavy/serious

[specialmom]

All good points by others.  Different perspectives are helpful to get one thinking about their situation.  

I'm just wondering if a 17 year old needs to spend this much time trying to analyze and fix something that doesn't feel right??  

[Nighthawk61]

I'm impressed that you asked to hear all the angles,

as i didn't have the same take as SM. I wasn't hearing that the arguments were instigated by your girl, at all.\\

I am depressed and have mild anxiety and have lost almost every friend and other than some I am quickly loosing closeness with and due to certain circumstances this can't really change...

There seems to be something going on outside of your relationship? This is an anonymous site, and it might help a lot to understand what circumstances that can't be changed are affecting your mental health.  I'm getting from this that you've lost near everybody and your girl is the only one sticking around to try to help you with it.

I'm getting that your own frustrations may be causing you to be less than accepting of her, (like maybe you were with the friends you lost?). I don't know what the cause of your depression is, so it's hard for me to say what you should or shouldn't do with your girlfriend.

I agree that first loves often are left, as teenager's goals of college, or work in another town kick in, and it's hard to let go, but necessary in many instances. I also can't really judge your girl as you've not stated what types of things that she says that make you so angry.

It sounds to me that you  need to talk openly anonymously or with a professional. A therapist could really help you through this. Maybe your parent(s) have  a therapist, or insurance? I know that in college, it is possible to get health insurance. I hope that you are  planning on  going to college, by the way. A person really needs to in order to make it these days.

[AnnieBrooke]

I take it that you're saying that no matter what she says it irritates you -- not that she is saying things that nag or pick at you, but just that you're kind of tired of her saying much of anything.  If so, it is indeed time to let her go.

Tell her that you don't know if it is a phase you are going through, but you just keep getting a can't-be-bothered feeling about the relationship.  That is a lot more accountable than saying she is this or that (implying that everything about the relationship that you find objectionable is her fault).  

I think you are pretty much feeling normal for age 17.  We change a lot between 16 and 17, and a whole lot more between 17 and 18, and more between 18 and 19, and part of the change is fed by the (probably biologically programmed) tendency to move on.  Kids are programmed by their biology to break from their parents in their teens, and relationships are also victim to this programming.  

I'd tell her without any blame to her.  It really didn't sound to me above like you *were* blaming her, you just said she grates on your nerves.  You didn't call her a nag or anything, I didn't think.  Just say you can't do it, and are sorry, and like her fine.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Ugh, it's hard.  But sometimes a difficult person in a relationship is not who you should be with no matter how great they are in other ways.  She's picking at you and demanding it sounds.  That's a rough life . . .   ask any man with what he considers a nagging wife.  Or one who doesn't allow someone to have much of a say over things.  They feel really trapped over time.  Only you know how bad it is and if you can put it aside to be with her.  But you are young.  Too young to have a girlfriend like this.  You'll meet many quirky, funny girls.  Just believe me on that.  Are you planning on going off to college??