confused, please help

I cheated on my boyfriend and he found out and naturally we broke up. We didnt speak for about a month. But now we are seeing eachother but not dating if that makes sense. When we do hang out we just have sex and that's about it. I want to talk about the cheating and say that I'm sorry but I'm not sure how to bring it up. I'm 18 and he's 24 , I just dont want to be he's f-buddy ( sorry for the language) I realize that I do love him now, and cheated on him because I was extremely drunk at a club and he was at work.
So I'm just confused as to what he wants and wondering if I bring everything up he will leave me again and I dont think I can go through that again. Has anyone been through this?

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome to the forum.  Well, it sounds like right now all he is interested in is the sex.  It's convenient, easy, familiar.  I would immediately stop having sex with him and see if he will still call you/text you or want to get toghether.  The next time he calls you for sex (even if he doesn't tell you that is why he is calling you)---  meet with him and stay clothed. Say, I want to talk instead.  And then tell him how sorry you were.  I wouldn't say it was 'because I was really drunk and at a club and you were at work"--  I'd say that you lacked self control that night and really screwed up.  Can't believe you ruined things.  You are just so very sorry and would do anything to take back time and change things.  You realize how much he means to you and that you'd like to try to heal the relationship.  Ask him how he feels and listen.  Don't allow yourself to just be his sex partner until he finds someone else he wants to date----  I agree with you.  That's not good for you.  But talk to him and see where his head is at.  good luck

[thatquietgirl]

He's definitely being very direct and clear about what he wants, so I find nothing to be confused about.  You're having sex each time and, as you said, "that's about it."

Specialmom is definitely giving you some good advice.  Stay clothed, tell him you want to talk, and apologize profusely.  Don't make excuses.  ("I was drunk at a club and you were at work" will come across as one.)  Just say you really messed up and have felt bad since and would like to repair the relationship.  Even if he agrees to work on the relationship, I'd keep sex out of it for a good while until it's clear he's actually working on things (be objective here) with you.  Otherwise, it's going to be very easy to just be f-buddies and fool yourself into believing it's more just because he agreed to work on the relationship.