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drama aughh
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drama aughh

This might be kind of long and it has nothing to do with pregnancy. So as a lot of you know my baby daddy passed away before I found out I was pregnant. Well he was a twin. And I've known them both sense I was five. Well his brother has always been my best friend. And he's been with me through this pregnancy. At the ER wt me at midnight because I thought something was wrong. He's been to doctor appointments wt me. And sometimes he sings to my belly and the babies start kicking. Ive kinda got more then friends feelings for him now..and he asked me out. I said I wasn't sure..I'm afraid to fall for him because just like the baby daddy he is in the military. And I'm afraid he'll have to leave and not come back..I'm afraid I'm falling for him because he's like his brother. I know there two different people but I'm still afraid..I haven't really let go of his brother..and.I dont really want to let go
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Any advice
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I say do what you feel is write if you really think its wrong because he is his brother than don't but if your just afraid of his occupation and just don't want anything to happen to him just take it slow and enjoy the days he is with you because if you really have feelings for him it would hurt you more if you didn't atleast try and then something does happen. Oh and I'm speaking from experience. Good luck
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there and welcome.  I'm very sorry for your loss first of all.  Sweetie, I'm married to a twin.  My husband and his brother are very much alike and guess what, so are my sister in law and I (name and all).  It is ironic, the similarities between the two brothers and the two wives.  

Sure, you could be projecting your grief, feelings for your baby's father onto his brother and what you are feeling could be based on that.  Absolutely.  But, it also wouldn't be unheard of that this man and your baby's dad have so many similarities that you find yourself attracted.  And he certainly seems interested in the baby (which is wonderful) and you.  

so, I would consider going on the date.  I would take things very slow and get to know this man for him rather than just as your baby's dad's brother.  So, don't slip right into a relationship with him.  Just slowly date.  

I can also see the fear of losing someone the same way when they have so much in common with the one we've lost.  But, that is the kind of fear that only holds you back.  In truth, we never know when it is our time or someone elses to die----  so, fearing it doesn't make sense.  Don't let that stop you from living and feeling and moving forward with your life.  peace and luck to you dear
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi and welcome and truly sorry for you loss and my heart goes out to you.
I personally feel this relationship would be very confusing especially for the baby as he would be an uncle and daddy both.
I personally feel it would be best to move on to a relationship outside the family and just have fond memories of a lost love. He will always be in your heart but there is room for another love for sure.
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OMGolly!!  My Heart is SO Heavy for You!!  This is a sad, sad, very sad story.

that being said,
I see NOTHING wrong in a Relationship developing between His Brother and You (if, and ONLY if ,YOU are comfortable with going in that direction).

Your Baby's Daddy would want You to be Happy, Cared For, and Treasured!!  and If He could not provide those things for You HimSelf, I think He would be Happy that His Brother, His TWIN Brother, might take care of You and His Baby as He would have.   I would suspect that if He could pick anyone in the world to step into "His Place", well then, He would pick His Brother, His Twin.  Your job would be to realize that even though "likenesses" and"similarities" may be there, He is still, none the less, an individual.  Most likely these Twins have many similarities, so it would be concieveable to me that You could Love Them Both.
IF this is Right, iF this is Good, it could be a most Wonderful Salutation to Him on the behalf of Both of You.
You don't have to "let go" of Your Husband - as I'm sure that His Brother doesn't want to "let go" of Him either.  This is why I could percieve that this could be a Wonderful Relationship for the both of You and that Both of You could continue to salutate Him.
You Loved Him  -   and His Brother is a lot like Him!!
He Loved You -  and His Brother is a lot like Him, so probably, the Brother could Love You too for the same Reasons that His Brother Loved You.
All this seems TOTALLY reasonable to me.
(You also said that You have known them Both since You were 5 years old.  In my book:  This is Big, this is Very, Very Big!!  My Husband and I were "best friends" for 7 YEARS before We realized We were "in" Love with one another.  Today we are Married almost 29 years and I can Honestly say I do not see others who are as Happy, as Excited as We are to be sharing Our life with One Another!!
Regards and Good Luck.  I am SO sorry for Your SadNess.  None the less, I believe You can still yet be happy and live a totally filled and fulfilled life.
and this is what Your Baby's Daddy would want for You.  
This I know is true.
Regards,
tink
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