Aa
Why not
I am 42 and married involved in a relationship with a 28 year lady living with her parents about 450kms away from where I am. I have come to realize how strong and truelly I love this woman and about a few months ago agreed to have a baby together. We have about two weeks ago established that she is pregnant, now the trouble is she would not want us to meet as I would like us to. Initially we were meeting about two weekends a month she now expect us to meet less frequently which thing I am totally unhappy with. I want to be there for her and the baby besides I have made up my mind that I want to be with her and get out of the existing marriage. I have on numerous occassion discussed my plans and intentions with her. I am doing this for the three of us, i.e My love for her, herself and the baby. . Am I expecting too much here or being unreasonable.
I agree adultry destoys so many lives & nothing good can come from it......Always remember what comes around goes around.
I have absolutely no tolerance for people who commit adultery. It's selfish and hurting the people that he is suppose to love (wife, family, etc). Opportunist also...zero tolerance.
I do not feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for his wife and this child that will be coming into the world born to a man with no moral values. Oh what a tangled web we weave!
Yes, I'm starting to feel sorry for him too, to tell you the truth. Not that what he did was okay, just that we were like a pack of wolves sorta, but I guess its because its insulting in a way that someone would open a thread such as this and think everyone would be okay with what he did.
Hey Thabiso, listen, I'm sorry if I offended you. But you came here for advice or answers and its just that we all feel sorry for your wife. If you truly are looking for advice you need to take a step back and look at what you are doing. You are ruining your life and your wifes life too ( and a baby). Nobody does anything that bad that they can't receive forgiveness from God and if your wife loves you "unconditionally," she actually will forgive you too and not ask for a divorce.
Not saying she has to stay with you, because adultery is actually a spiritual loophole to getting out of marriage, but I do hope for your sake and all involved that you come to your senses. And, as I mentioned, you might be going thru a bad change of life - no excuse, but, when or if you come to your senses, you are going to feel real bad. Someone who doesn't feel bad has what God calls a "seared conscience."
And,its better to feel bad, so you can make things right, then to not feel bad and try to rationalize your actions. I hope things work out for you and your wife - I really do. And I think everyone would agree.
Good luck.
Hey Thabiso, listen, I'm sorry if I offended you. But you came here for advice or answers and its just that we all feel sorry for your wife. If you truly are looking for advice you need to take a step back and look at what you are doing. You are ruining your life and your wifes life too ( and a baby). Nobody does anything that bad that they can't receive forgiveness from God and if your wife loves you "unconditionally," she actually will forgive you too and not ask for a divorce.
Not saying she has to stay with you, because adultery is actually a spiritual loophole to getting out of marriage, but I do hope for your sake and all involved that you come to your senses. And, as I mentioned, you might be going thru a bad change of life - no excuse, but, when or if you come to your senses, you are going to feel real bad. Someone who doesn't feel bad has what God calls a "seared conscience."
And,its better to feel bad, so you can make things right, then to not feel bad and try to rationalize your actions. I hope things work out for you and your wife - I really do. And I think everyone would agree.
Good luck.
Sorry, this one doesnt even deserve a response other than to say, Your poor wife! Hope she has better luck next time, cause she sure got screwed hookin up with you. Poor thing!
Hi Mami...missed you! Hugs...Judy
This mess is just beginnig, just wait until the wife and family find out...all hell is going to break lose and this will add to your finances....explain that one to your wife. Good luck, because you are going to need it and no sympathy here.
This mess is just beginnig, just wait until the wife and family find out...all hell is going to break lose and this will add to your finances....explain that one to your wife. Good luck, because you are going to need it and no sympathy here.
This is not good not good at all, you have created a new life. This was planned it was not a mistake. Why would you intentionally hurt someone you love, did you ever take into consideration your wife.The only way out is to be honest. Tell your wife about the g/friend,it is going to hurt her, but at least give her that much ,don't let her find out on the street that her husband is planning a life with someone else. If you don't one day she will get a letter or phone call with the bad news. You did love her at one time you had planes with her as you do now with the new girl.Remember how you felt the day you married her every thing was new and exciting is that what you were trying to get from this new relationship? Your new g/friend may think that someday she will be the one at home like you wife is now not knowing what is going on is he planning a new life with someone else is it getting old ?If she is smart she will stay away till you do the right thing.She is very vulnerable don't prey on this give her time to think. Give her the space see needs . Take this time to get your life in order try to think about others not just yourself. You have made a lot of mistakes and you need to fix them starting at home.
yeah Julie you're right, he isn't getting any sympathy from any of us. :) I think if his wife were to hire Gloria Allred for her attorney - Gloria wouldn't even be as hard on him as we are.
People make mistakes in life, but I think the thing that is bothering most of us (or all of us maybe) is that he went ahead and ~agreed~ to have a baby with this woman while he was still married. I hope he realizes his mistake (now that we shoved it down his throat lol j/k) and tells his wife what happened because if she finds out from someone else that he is going to have a child with someone - that would be devastating.
ya know as women when in our 40's - 50's we go thru our changes and can quite wacky at times. I think doctors should study the male menopause a little bit too, because maybe he is going thru that. Nah, maybe not - who knows. Lets chip in and hire Gloria for his wife. LOL
People make mistakes in life, but I think the thing that is bothering most of us (or all of us maybe) is that he went ahead and ~agreed~ to have a baby with this woman while he was still married. I hope he realizes his mistake (now that we shoved it down his throat lol j/k) and tells his wife what happened because if she finds out from someone else that he is going to have a child with someone - that would be devastating.
ya know as women when in our 40's - 50's we go thru our changes and can quite wacky at times. I think doctors should study the male menopause a little bit too, because maybe he is going thru that. Nah, maybe not - who knows. Lets chip in and hire Gloria for his wife. LOL
She is the "other women" right now. Why would she want to enter into a permanent relationship with you knowing you will probably do the same thing to her down the road. Sounds like she just wanted a baby. What a mess. I will never understand why people don't just end one relationship before entering another. Years ago I discovered that a man I was dating was married. I dropped him like a tonne of bricks. Even had he offered to leave his wife for me, I would not have pursued it. It he did it to her, he would do it to me.
I forgot to mention it wont be long until you will know how it feels she is young you are not her age she will soon be looking for a younger man also she is nothing also as she is cheating she is going behind your wifes back.your wife needs to leave you will leave you with the thought soon you shall pay the piper jo
Yup backfired and a mess too. Yeah, who knows if the wife knows. I can remember when a client of mine ( I'm an ex hairdresser) found out about her husband.
He was a top surgeon in the area and all I kept thinking of was, OMG, I would hate to have to go under the knife and have him as my surgeon,,,,,no way could his head have been on straight with all the fighting they were doing.
The messiest divorce out of everyone that ever sat in my chair. Cops being called to their home. She really went at him full force. It really got crazy.
Her driver used to wait for her in the salon as I would do her hair because she was so out of it that she had to go on valium or something, so she couldn't drive during this period. It had a happy ending though. She made out just fine. She met a very nice man.
He was a top surgeon in the area and all I kept thinking of was, OMG, I would hate to have to go under the knife and have him as my surgeon,,,,,no way could his head have been on straight with all the fighting they were doing.
The messiest divorce out of everyone that ever sat in my chair. Cops being called to their home. She really went at him full force. It really got crazy.
Her driver used to wait for her in the salon as I would do her hair because she was so out of it that she had to go on valium or something, so she couldn't drive during this period. It had a happy ending though. She made out just fine. She met a very nice man.
But now now matter what he will have to support that baby, that is if he is a real man! Sounds like he was playing a game and got played! Where is the wife in all of this, are there any children with her? What a mess.
Yeah looks as if it all backfired in his face to me..... well when u play with fire someone is gona get burnt. Shame in this case it's gona be the baby....
It seems this is something that is going on all over the place - women who are not married and feel they want a baby before a certain age, they grab any guy that comes along just to get pregnant. How sad for the baby. The clue to what I am saying is he said he "agreed" to have a baby. So she set him up from what I see. And now of course she is backing away and will eventually cut ties. Crazy stuff.
I agree with Judy246, why didn't you get a divorce before going after this relationship and did she know about your wife when you two met?
"expecting too much"... "unreasonable"... apparently, so.
Knowing that you're an older married man, perhaps, this younger woman feels that pursuing a lasting, long term, committed relationship with you is hopeless... despite your "plans," "intentions" and proclamations of love.
Then, again... maybe all she wanted out of the relationship was a baby!
It's hard to say...only she knows, "Why not."
Knowing that you're an older married man, perhaps, this younger woman feels that pursuing a lasting, long term, committed relationship with you is hopeless... despite your "plans," "intentions" and proclamations of love.
Then, again... maybe all she wanted out of the relationship was a baby!
It's hard to say...only she knows, "Why not."
Expecting too much or being unreasonable???? What you are doing is has a title "infidelity"and
"adultery" and that is simply unexceptable, imoral, irresponsible, dishonest and simply WRONG!. Why didn't you get a divorce first, before venturing on the other side, which most of the time is not greener. You have just made a mess families and lives. Get a divorce and then do whatever you want legally!
"adultery" and that is simply unexceptable, imoral, irresponsible, dishonest and simply WRONG!. Why didn't you get a divorce first, before venturing on the other side, which most of the time is not greener. You have just made a mess families and lives. Get a divorce and then do whatever you want legally!
dont go knockin on St Peters gates, he wont let you in, what a terrible person you are. also look how many people you are going to hurt shame shame . i do not wish you luck, and you will not get what you want the grass is never greener over there jo
ohh and to answer ur question totally unreasonable...... why do men think they can have their cake and eat it??
Well all i can say is WOW..... erm so let me get this straight, u are married and still with ur wife, but even so got involved with a much younger woman who you have made plans to make pregnant and got pregnant dispite still being with ur wife, and now your mistress is backing off from you....HMMMMM i wonder why!! Think about it, it don't take enstein does it.
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