how deal with him gone.

[Lucey12]

So Ive picked the worst husband. Yes I said it. I love him and hes the world but he is always gone. I caught a military man and he is always gone. Its really hard to deal with it especially knowing he will continue to be gone for long periods of time through our life together. I in no way want to leave him adn there is no way he will quit the military, it has been his dream forever and has been in it before we started dating. I just want to know what I can do to keep my morals up and not miss him so much.hes been gone for a month so far and there hasnt been a day go by that I havent cried.

[Lucey12]

Yeah right now he is just in new brunswick for a few months. Im really not concern about the cheating thing. I would never do anything that I woudlnt be comfortable with him doing (and Im a really jelous person) I love him to much and right from the begining we have both been on the same page with it. If you want to do something with someone else, end it first. If you cant end it, then dont do it. There is no reason to have a couple months, days or even minutes of fun to ruin a 2 year relationship. I know I thought him being gone woudl be so much worse, I think i cried more when he was still here when I just thought about it. I do get to talk to him a couple times a day when he can call but when he goes overseas and wont be able to call daily and will be fighting, Im going to be so much more worried.

[g27gear]

Sorry, I thought I had read your husband was already gone for a few months. That must have been another post. Either way, tough it out through the first 3 months, then ride it downhill until he's back. It will go quickly.

[g27gear]

It's never how you expect it to be once they actually leave. You can prepare for it and know deep in your heart you'll be stong, but once they are actually gone, it can all set in and really hit you hard.
You're doing fine so far, and the rest of his time overseas won't be too much worse. From what I've seen, the girls that really mess up, do it in the first couple months. They start going to the clubs, looking up old boyfriends, flirting and generally going to sh!t before they've even given it a chance.
You'll be all right and he'll be so busy over there, the time will pass quickly for him. (from what I've seen of the Canucks I've worked with anyway)
Can you say where he's deployed? I'll be out there agian this summer, maybe I can look him up for you if he's in the same place.

[Lucey12]

He has been in the military for 3 years, he just started reg. forces at of the first of the year. So hes got a while before he would be able to get an instructing position. He wants to go over seas a couple times, and I can respect that as I have respected his career. in 3 years his contract is up so he is goign to try for a teaching possition then though the chances are slim. after that there is another 3 years and he figures he will have 50/50 chances of teaching then. Him just starting in reg. force, we havnt even got posted yet till hes done this course hes currently on. Then we will be moving across the counrty, probably manitoba or ontario (were canadian, in case you didnt know) so we are going to be really far from home and all our family. That is one of the reasons he is goign to try for a teaching position asap. This way he can teach at the base in our home town. I talked to one of his superiors about it and he said no matter how bad you miss him, and how hard things are for you its ten times harder for him, and even knowing he doesnt call you all the time, he wants to an dyou are all that he is thinking about and all thats keeping him going so dont f*** that up and bugger off on him.
It really helped saying that and I know he loves me as much as i love him so there is no doubt in my mind that we cant make it work, i jsut want to make it easier. As for keepuing busy, ive been wokring out and start a kickboxing class tonight. Im also working on planning our wedding for the summer.
Thanks for your help, its always easier hearing advice from non-civilians as they always say the wrong things like you knew he'd be gone so you shouldnt be sad. Just cuz i knew it was going to happen all teh time doesnt make it easier.

[g27gear]

It's never easy being a military spouse. I lost one wife (I gladly would have given her away) because of being gone to often. I'm remarried and it's super difficult for my wife to deal with. She has so far, I'm very thankful it hasn't been too difficult.
What does your husband do? The chances of him getting a job that will keep him stateside for a while increase the longer he's been in the military. Have you talked to him about trying to get transfered to an instructor position at one of the training bases / posts?
A couple of years of knowing that he shouldn't have to go somewhere helpful sometimes.
He's having a hard time wherever he is, and I'm sure he knows how hard it is for you.
If you can find a way to deal with it, the time together should be great. The time apart should make you realize how much you like to have him around.
Don't do anything that's going to make him suffer, especially since you love him so much. Let that love be your strength and find something to keep yourself occupied.