if husband can get custody

[judypudy751]

my husband was with another woman for three months and she is ;pregnant and she says the baby is his  she also takes drugs  is there anyway we can find out sooner and if so get custody

[nursegirl6572]

Well said, rock rose.

[nursegirl6572]

Oh geez.

If that is your advice, we'd have to triple the jail capacity.  There aren't enough cops to arrest everyone who is adulterous.  Come on now!  That's just ridiculous.

[RockRose]

Not in Texas there's not.

And actually,  I think I'd have the exact same reaction Judy has about wanting custody.  If for nothing else just so I'm not spending my years worried sick to death about what's going on in that poor baby's life that I don't know about and can't affect.

[specialmom]

What law is there regarding adultry?  It is morally wrong but not legally.  

[Life360_Dave]

So let me get this straight, you want your husband and you to get custody of the other womens baby that is from your husband? If thats your plan you are the most understanding person in the world and almost saintly in your ability to forgive! What a great virtue!

But if you desire to do this is for financial stablility or the thought of being alone then the whole thing is doomed and if your husband gets away with this then there will be more children in the works.
I myself would call the police and have him arrested for adultory as believe the law still is on the books

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Oh goodness.  A lot to take in.  You must have very many emotions.  It is awful to be cheated on.  You seem enthusiastic for the pregnancy though.  I worry about YOU too in all of this.  Have you worked through your emotions regarding the affair and the problems your marriage may have had??  Are things really solid there?  

I think that if i thought it were my baby as your husband thinks it is, that perhaps he should offer to go to an appt with her. At that time, he can mention to her doctor that she is using.  This sets the ball rolling to create a situation for her to either get clean or face losing her child when he/she is born.  At that time, your husband could have paternity tests to show he is the father and be granted custody.  Not that it will flow smoothly like that.  

Yes, ultimately you hope the mom gets help and stops using.  But that isn't your problem.  A baby that you will eventualy be a step mother to is.  And doing what is best for the child is the number one priority.  

The pregnant girlfriend would always be the child's mother and hopefully she would find the baby to be motivation to overcome her addiction in order to be in the child's life.  You would always need to be supportive of her doing that for the sake of the child.  
peace and good luck to you.  This is a hard one!

[pitbullmom]

i completely agree with nursegirl. i also just want to tell u how sorry i am i kno what that feels like. but drug addiction is a disease and u shouldnt want to take her baby u should want her to get help  

[nursegirl6572]

Find out what?  If he's the dad, or if she's on drugs?  If the former, he will have to wait until the baby is born, then have a paternity test done.  As for the drug issue, it is very important her OB know what's going on, but it's not your place to tell him/her.  That's a rough situation.

Actually, YOU shouldn't be involved in any of this.  To add your participation only muddys the water and creates more tension in an already bad situation.  Your husband ONLY should be communicating with her.

Hopefully, since your hubby had a several month affair, he has enough of a rapport with her that he could urge her to do the right thing and talk to her OB, maybe he could even offer to go WITH her for that conversation?  It would be great if he could man up and do the right thing by being supportive in any way he could during this time.

EVERYONE benefits if these matters can be handled like adults, rather than with finger pointing, blaming, and fighting.