is sex 2-3 times a month enough for a young couple?

[hplant]

Im 25, my girlfriend is 22, and much to my disdain we only have sex 2-3 times a month. Is this normal? It seems like in my past relationships I would have sex with my ex-girlfriend(s)  2-3 times a week at the very least. Am I a sex maniac if I want to have sex 2-3 times a week? Is there anything I can do to help boost her sex drive? I have already talked about this issue with her- and she plainly states "that you(me) knew when you first started dating me that Im not crazy about sex" which- is untrue.

I love my girlfriend so much as a person- more than I have loved anyone in my life! However, after dating her for a year this sex issue is really starting to bother me and my girlfriend really doesn't seem to care. I have contemplated ending the relationship- but ending it in the name of sex seems so superficial! please, please help me with some much needed advice.

[imanaddict]

There is always something in every relationship that isn't perfect and sex is yours. There are other ways to release yourself if your girlfriend isn't in the mood. Granted it might not be the same, but in every relationship there is sacrifices to be made by both parties. If she is the one for you, then do what you can to make it work. Keep communicating with her though and hopefully she'll come around.

My husband and I don't have sex as much as he'd like and definitely not as much as we did when we first got together. Even though I LOVE having sex with him, I'm just not always in the mood. I'm pretty sure it's the medication I'm on. Anyway, he has this way of getting me in the mood by saying things in my ear while grabbing me and pulling me close to him. He will start kissing on my neck (which gets me EVERY time). The point is he knows me and what turns me on. Maybe try some different things, talk with her friends and see what gets her going. Spice it up in the bedroom, change is good! ALWAYS make sure she is satisfied completely before you or you can pretty much guarantee a sex death sentence! LOL!

Good luck and I hope everything works out!

[Monica70]

Having sex 2 to 3 times a month is not a lot for an older couple.

I'm 37 years old and I've always had a high sex drive, but I think I've reached what they call my sexual peak. I think about sex EVERY day.

[penswriter]

it still blows my mind how quickly people are to consider leaving their partner b/c of lack of sex.

am i REALLY that old fashioned to think relationships are based on love? and not lust...how many times you have sex?

[Judy246]

Sex lessens or increases as we age. It's different for everyone and some busy people might say, unfortuntely, 2x's a month is becoming the norm. If it really is a concern, simply ask her that you have notice a decrease in your intimacy and if everything is ok. It's important to address the issues in a very caring, concerned way and if there is a problem, ask her how can "we" resolve. I recommend that you don't force the issue on her, because she will just back away and more issues will arise. Good Luck, Judy

[hplant]

thank you all for the comments!

RockRose: yes, every aspect of the relationship is flawless- except for the sex part. When I was younger, I ended plenty of relationships over sex.  My girlfriend is so amazing for me that I was able to look beyond the sex issue for the past year. Knowing myself, I'm stunned that she was able to hold my interest despite this issue. this is the one girl that I could marry- but this sex issue has me torn

to answer Teko:   yeah, she is really satisfied. Apparently- she had sex with her last boyfriend even less than with me! She enjoys it more now, but that still doesn't override the fact that she doesn't care for it much.

[teko]

In answer to your question as to what is normal, there is no normal. It is whatever works for two compatible people, beit 5 days a wk or one time a month, etc.

[teko]

That will decrease if you get married. Um, doesnt sound like the two of you are compatible. If she isnt liking sex, it generally means she is not getting much out of it. Are you sure she is satisfied afterward? Doesnt sound like it.

[RockRose]

Sex isn't superficial.  If you are willing to have sex 2 - 3 times a month forever,  and the other parts of your relationship outweigh the lack of sex,  then stay with her.

The thing is,  her sex drive will probably decrease even further as the relationship continues.  

This is what dating is for.  To find out if you're compatible as a couple.  In my opinion,  you aren't.  

[jo929]

you have dated long enough to  know whether she is the one maybe after marriage things may change but talk with her about sex first she may not care for it to much, if she does not it will not work  jo