Aa
head is a mess
I have been with my partner for about 5 years and we have a child together, but recently I have been thinking what life would be like if I was single. I have also been having thoughts of what it would be like to have a relashionship with strangers I pass in the street. I dont feel like I love him anymore, but I do not want to make any rash decisions that may affect my child. I did see on someone else's post that thoughts like this could be down to depression. can anyone advise me please.
Best Answer
It may not only be the relationship that's causing u to be unhappy but it may be you yourself. You might have so much on ur mind that nothing seems to make u feel good anymore even if it used and ur seeking something else to make u feel satisfied hence wondering if the single lor having a different relationship will make u feel "better". I think u need to communicate with ur partner let him know if he is falling short of ur expectations in a nice way and go seek couples counsellling to steer u guys on the right path. Also look into ur heart and see what it is that's bothering YOU and get personal counselling.
I hope it all works out :)
I hope it all works out :)
Well, they could be related to depression, and if you and the partner are not connecting well, that's enough to make someone depressed all right. Is the partner not fulfilling your emotional needs? Most of the time when women cheat (or think of it) it's because they have sort of a hole in their heart and unmet emotional needs in their present relationship.
I am not an advocate of staying together "for the sake of a child" when things are otherwise bad, but also am very clear on how much it hurts a child when his or her parents split. For the sake of your child, don't "just" stay and be unhappy, but go get some counseling (alone, and with your partner) to try to rekindle the interesting relationship that got you two together in the first place. In other words, go to counseling for the sake of the child.
I am not an advocate of staying together "for the sake of a child" when things are otherwise bad, but also am very clear on how much it hurts a child when his or her parents split. For the sake of your child, don't "just" stay and be unhappy, but go get some counseling (alone, and with your partner) to try to rekindle the interesting relationship that got you two together in the first place. In other words, go to counseling for the sake of the child.
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Truth is, once we are in a long term relationship and have a child, it isn't always fun and games. Responsibility is part of adult life. And acknowledging that our relationship will never be like it was in the beginning after a certain point------- you know, carefree and easy like you imagine it would be like with a stranger----well, that is the evolution of long term relationships as new things are added to the mix.
Where I disagree with Anniebrooke is the part of staying together for the sake of the children. I do believe that they shouldn't be casualties of our emotions. We chose to have them with a partner, we need to make EVERY effort to work things out with that person. If I left my husband every time we had a 'down time' in our relationship----------- well, it would not be good. You work it out for the sake of the commitment (which is the conceived child together) that you've made. I wish more couples would think of this prior to having kids and see relationships as something more permanent. This does not include abuse, infidelity or addiction. Those can definitely be deal breakers. But just daydreaming about someone else is not.
I don't know if daydreaming about other relationships is a symptom of depression in and of itself. How are other things going--------- your ability to function and concentrate on a day to day basis, how are you sleeping, losing or gaining weight?, do you have a sense of hopelessness? Symptoms like that and more are indicative of clinical depression and they must be present every day for at least 2 weeks. If you think you may be depressed, please seek advice from your doctor. It is quite treatable and important to do so.
So, I hope that you are able to rekindle your relationship with your partner. We are all human and might have our mind wander from time to time to someone else----------- it doesn't mean you must leave your boyfriend. But work on things with your boyfriend so your mind wanders less. good luck