my 47 yr old boyfriend of 10 yrs wont leave his mum

[savanagh]

ive been wth my partner nearly 10yrs and he still lives wth his 87yr old mum who he will not leave he has stayed wth me at times but only ever brings a few belonging and when he has stayed wth me has still had to find exscuses to go and sit wth his mum!! she has been rude to me in the past and makes it clear she dosnt like me!! i have 3 children from a previous relationship and he has 2, we have never been able to do things as a family as his mum always arranges for him and his children to go there when he has them! even tho they are now 18 and 19yrs old im never included his mum is still very friendly wth there mum who she also often has round there,, he says he will leave and marry me but when i try to push him he gets angry on the defence saying shes old she gets scared on her own!! he has been back living with his mum for the past 17yrs!! im 37  and getting very low and insecure i also feel bitter towards his mum for keeping him there will he ever leave!! he owns his own house which sits empty it all really odd please help advise me,im also becoming lonely sharing him

[megochick101]

i completely agree with what Judy and Jo said. If it's been 10 years and still no commitment, I doubt he will ever make one! as for his mother never cutting the cord, so to speak, it's not going to change. He's 47 and if he hasn't separated himself form his mother by this point he'd not going to until, like Judy said, his mom dies. him having his own house and still living with his mom worries me too. The relationship between him and his mom sounds very unhealthy to me. I would definitely talk to him and explain everything you're feeling to him. If he doesn't take the hint that get out of that relationship asap. There are other men out there who don't run to there mother for every survival need!!

[jo929]

I agree that 10 years in a relationship is going nowhere give you boyfriend a choice either lets get married or else it is over, he will not marry you or he would have already done so luck  jo

[Judy246]

Hi, First of all, 10 yrs. is way too long to be in a casual relationship with a 47 yr. old mama's boy without some type of commitment like an engagement ring and oh' no'...the word commitment and seperation anxiety...RUN!!!!  A definate, mama's boy and his mother forgot to cut the umbilical cord 47 yrs. ago.  He is still attached to his mother like a child if he has to find excuses to stay with you. Of course she doesn't like you (with all do respect to you), you have her little boy and you come as a package or as some people might say, with luggage. Mom does not consider you part of the family, you are just his partner and not family.  It's obvious that he is marrige phobic and the reality after 10 yrs, is that he will not going to commit to you and by you just mentioning the word marrige, he goes into panic attack's and runs right to mommy.  37 is not old and you have a lot of life ahead, but let's face it. The only way he is going to leave mom is if she dies. She is elderly now and needs from her family and the bond between mother and son is much stronger than the relationship you have with him (sorry for being so blunt about this).  

You need to leave him. He is not good for you and you are not in a healthy relationship or environment . Judy

It's time for you to cut, not the cord, but tides with him. You are in a relationship that is not going nowhere and you are waisting your youth (yes, 37 is still young) in someone is afraid to commit, but will not leave him mother.  I'm sorry, but you are going to have to get rid of him for your sake and return back to where he came from....mom.  Judy