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passionless marriage
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passionless marriage

Hi im 27 and my husband is 28 we've been together 11 years, and married 5 with 4 children together. Our relationship started off with us having sex 1 to 3 times a day just about everyday, until our first child then once a day until we had our last 2 (twins). Having 4 children knocked us down to 1 to 3 times a week. Our children are now 9, 8, and the twins are about to be 7. Within the last year or so we've dramatically went down to once a month if that and there is no passion, no emotion, and it's become quite forceful to get my husband to want to have sex with me. I pretty much beg for it, i can't even get a smack on the *** every once in awhile to say he still finds me attractive. When i talk to him about it he says he's too tired or he didn't realize that sex has to be such a big part of our relationship. He recently told me he noticed i picked up a few pounds it hurt a little but i didn't let it bother me because he's a fool to not notice that i noticed it first so my eating habits changed and i go to the gym, so i've actually been losing weight.
My sexual desire is very overwhelming and I personally dont feel unattractive but he makes me feel that he doesn't find me attractive. Other men hit on me but i try not to let that matter because he is the only one who should. I don't want to cheat so i have a bag full of toys but it's not at all the same.
I dont know what to do.
4 Comments Post a Comment
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580755_tn?1357673215
Probably time to have a bigger talk with him on sex and how you feel and it makes you feel. I think once a month is well just not enough.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
HI, Do you work or a stay home mom and is his job demanding. With all the children and goings on got to be a hectic situation. Even though hes only 28 he just could be burned out.
Sounds like you both needs some down time to get to know eachother again as im sure the 4 children are taking a toll on both of you.
Can you get away on a cruize or something?
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Avatar_f_tn
we both work i work mornings during the week and evenings during the weekend he is consistently overnight. my thing is he has time for the guys and video games, why not play with me?
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Avatar_m_tn
Well it seems obvious to me... routine has settled into your home and opened up shop. Routine is the opposite of passion and a total sex killer. You need to kill it and get back to living. I have a couple of suggestions.
First: You need to have time set aside to date again and find each other. You describe a man who is settled and content but not passionate. Passion comes from discovery, so discover each other again. Kids need a baby sitter and time away from this discovery. If he is not interested in this he is taking your being there for granted and that is problematic.
Second: Spend time with your friends and enjoy time away from each other. Have romantic nights the times you are together.
I understand work + kids = routine. However be aware that routine is bad for sex and so you have to work around the equation.
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