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Avatar universal

should I stay or leave my husband

Okay, my husband mentally abuses me.  He criticizes me, degrades me, makes extremely crudes jokes at my expense, doesn't allow me to visit him at work or invited any of my coworkers to my house,  doesn't help me clean our 3500 sq ft house at all even though I work full time and have a part time business (he has a full time job too), we don't have kids but I really want to have 2, he has grabbed my arm and bruised it twice (but not in about a year), we don't enjoy one anther at all, he won't go to church or read his bible any more, he yells at me, if i don't clean to his satisfaction he will take everything and throw it in the living room so i have to clean...  
I am scared to leave because I have always wanted to be a wife and mom and feel like if I divorce him that I won't meet someone before I go into menopause and can no longer have children.
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Avatar universal
My bestfriend went through a divorce 1 1/2 years ago. I've never seen someone suffer so much. Her husband left her because of differences in spiritual beliefs....if I told you the specifics you'd laugh because it's so ridiculous. He was becoming physically abusive and is literally mentally disturbed, but he just wanted out.  (Both of his parents were in institutions at his age.) My friend and her x-husband both attended a Christian college which turned out to be extremely legalistic... which was part of the reason he divorced my friend. I HATE legalism. RULES AND REGULATIONS.  I am a follower of Jesus Christ, but I've come to realize that IT'S NOT ABOUT RELIGION, IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP.
  
I just want to say this to want2behappy....
I have never been for divorce. The bible even says that God hates it. I've been married for 24 years and have worked through a lot....... but while walking through the divorce with my friend I realized something very important and that is.....GOD LOVES HIS CHILDREN no matter what mistakes we've made, are making or will make. Jesus died in our place for our past, present and future sins.  Yes, divorce is a sin, according to the bible, because it is breaking an oath to God. BUT my point is this....... because we are God's children, I believe with all my heart that he does not intend for us to stay in an abusive relationship. He is a father...our Heavenly Father. No earthly father who truly loves his kids would advise a child to stay in an abusive relationship...nor would  your Heavenly Father! He WANTS you to be SAFE,  believe me.
My thoughts are that you separate from this man and ask him to get godly counsel....separation can sometimes get a person's attention before an actual divorce. I've seen it happen several times. If divorce does come down the road, you will be able to say you did all you could do to save the marriage. While you are on your own get all the support you can through prayer, a good/supportive bible believing church ... Ask the pastor if he knows of a older and wise woman who can walk through this adversity with you. Read the Psalms for comfort. Psalm 91 is great...  
Over time you will know what to do....God will give you peace. My bestfriend is surviving on her own because she had no options and you will do fine if you have to do the same.

Everything is going to be okay.  BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!

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Avatar universal
Thank you.
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184674 tn?1360860493
Your selected quote from Singforjoy says nowhere in it that Want2bhappy should get a divorce. It just says that God loves his children and does not intend for us to stay in an abusive relationship.

A few sentences later, Singforjoy says, "My thoughts are that you separate from this man and ask him to get godly counsel....separation can sometimes get a person's attention before an actual divorce. I've seen it happen several times. If divorce does come down the road, you will be able to say you did all you could do to save the marriage."

HOWEVER, nowhere in the Bible does it say that divorce is a sin. It is just not recommended. Malachi 2:16 says that God hates divorce. God does not tell us to sin. Hating the action is not the same as it being a sin.

Singforjoy has not made "selective literalism." Perhaps there was just a misunderstanding.

You then tell Christians, "You either conform to the 'tenets' of your book of fantasy completely, or we can all agree that it's a wash. You can't have it both ways, people."

If you go back through this post and re-read my comments to Want2bhappy (#10, #11, and #15), you'll see that I've pointed out the "tenets" of the Holy Bible and divorce. Want2bhappy has Biblical justification for divorce, but also to remain in the marriage if she wishes. At this point, it is entirely up to Want2bhappy.
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Avatar universal
Jerry who? I couldn't give a rats *** about Jerry Falwell, much to your dismay. All your rambling about evolution and apes means nothing to me. Actually there is proof that God exists everyday. I guess that you never experienced the miracle of childbirth or watching someone that you love pass away so peacefully. But, then I guess you wouldn't contribute any of these things to God. All I can say is that I feel sorry for you. Oh yeah, one more thing, GOD LOVES YOU!  
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Avatar universal
I believe... God exist.. Though i dont go to church, dont have any fixed religion.  Religion does messes people up... But God, I for sure believes in Him.. Just look at those people in times of trouble and you'll hear Them calling for God to help them, do they believe in Him?  Of course, its not just an expresison, its something we do deep within.  When all we can do is asked for God's grace, even if we care less,  we pray. Even criminals do..

but then,  If physical evidence is what we should base it to then i guess God doesnt exist..

But there a thing called "FAITH" which absolutely means believing and trusting without seeing it.  I believe in God and not on any religion made up by man.

god bless all people.. strong and weak.
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Avatar universal
Unicorns are mythology, God is not! I did not want to start an argument with you. I believe in God and you do not, end of story. I do not really know if there is, so called "proof" of his existence.You could possibly be correct that there is no proof, this is where faith is derived from. I do not believe that believing in God makes me unstable, or any of those other harsh words you used. I am not a bible banger and do not even attend church. I think that religion is a complete mess. I do believe in God, I do not really care if you agree or disagree with me, I appreciate your opinion and your perspective.
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